Written by Cheyenne Burns
Growing up, my parents were strict and conservative. They had always told my siblings and I, “Being gay is wrong, the natural thing is a man and a woman”. They would always tell us being with the same sex was evil, so I believed them.
When I was nine, I had moved to Washington, where I met a girl named, let’s call her Denise. Denise and I were the best of friends, I could always confide in her and vice versa. I never took interest in her, because in my eyes, she was only a friend. That is until two years later when our friends dared us to kiss. After kissing her, I knew something inside started to blossom. I never acted upon the kiss or told her how I was feeling, because I was afraid of my feelings for her and my parents would never accept this.
Throughout my years, something inside me had always been a little weird. Why did I have feelings for girls and boys, why did these feelings not go away. I never truly understood that I was bi, until I was 16. Being interested in both sexes was never talked about by my parents, but I assumed they would not approve.
I kept my sexuality a secret from my family, but I was still uneasy about telling my best friends. What if they had shunned me or outed me to everyone. I was not ready for everyone to yell at me for being “evil” or to hate me.
A year later and hoorah same sex marriage is legal! Even though I am allowed to marry who ever I want, I decided to keep my sexuality a secret. By the time I am 18, I will be free from my family and friends, living in a whole other state to be who I am and not worry about my parents disowning me.
For me, living “in the closet” will be a better life. I do not have to be afraid of people judging me, being refused a job, or even a church.
Maybe the reason I do not want to come out is just the constant fear or not knowing what is going to happen to me? I have read in the news of anti LGBTQIA violence, I am afraid I might be killed for being bisexual.
Most people will try and tell me coming out is okay, while if I do, this will cause terrible problems for me. Coming out is very different for everyone that had or has to, because who knows what their situation is like.
So to anyone wanting to come out to their friends and family, do what makes you happy.
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