When you’re a teen and in a relationship, it’s everything. It can easily become your whole world, and you so fearlessly fall in love. But sometimes that perfect love that you’ve found isn’t so perfect. Sometimes that love breaks you down mentally and physically.
Over 12 million people over the course of the year are victims of domestic violence. 12 million people. Those 12 million aren’t just adults and aren’t just women. It’s men and women. It’s adults, teens and even children. In 2011, a survey was conducted amongst high school students, and the results found that 9.4% of the students reported being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend. But dating violence doesn’t stop there. Amongst teens, emotional, verbal and digital abuse is much more common.
Growing up I knew that if I was ever dating someone who physically harmed me in any way than the relationship was over, and I’d be out. I never learned about the other ways a relationship was toxic though. It was never something my parents taught me; it was never something my school taught me either. Telling you that you can never do something right, showing jealousy of your friends and time spent away, keeping you or discouraging you from seeing your friends, controlling what you post online or you text are just a few of the red flags and warnings signs of a toxic relationship.
It’s hard to think that any kind of harm your significant other causes they mean to do when you’re young and in love. Though, this can happen to anyone who is in love, not just those who are young and “don’t know any better.” (Quite frankly, I hate that phrase because that’s never an excuse.) It’s very easy though to let someone into our heads and clouds our minds into a warped reality that just causes our pain.
Some people have been asking me why I’m so passionate about this topic. Here is why: when I was in college, I was a part of a sorority, whose national and local philanthropy was domestic violence awareness. A great amount of my time in college I spent doing events to raise money for our local shelter house, volunteering there and raising awareness for the issue. It’s an issue that until then I honestly never really paid attention to, but now its one I refuse to ignore. I am very thankful for I have never been in an abusive relationship, but I know that what is happening is wrong, and I’m fighting for change. My hope is that something simple as posting a photo series on Instagram will spark curiosity and create a conversation.
So when do we learn? When do we learn how to express ourselves in ways that aren’t harmful to the person we’re dating? When do we learn that it’s ok talk about how we feel? The time to start talking is now. The time to start teaching is now. The time to start educating ourselves is now, and the younger we learn, the better. Once you learn you’ll be able to not only help yourself but help your friends as well. You never know, you could even help save someone’s life. A good place to start learning and even get help if you’re currently in a abusive relationship is the National Domestic Violence Awareness Hotline, or you can call 1.800.799.7233. Together we can help end the silence because love shouldn’t hurt.
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