With today’s gradually more accepting society, people are growing more comfortable with themselves. More and more people are exploring their gender identity and finding that it lies outside the binary. As people have begun to use pronouns that coincide with their identity, it has caused some protest among people with outdated views on gender.
A common example of this is they/them. Used as neutral pronouns, the gender of the person being spoken about is unknown, and you do not automatically assume that the person’s gender is male or female (as you would with “she” or “him”). It is commonly used (to name a few) with agender, genderfluid, and bi/trigender individuals.
The use of neutral pronouns has caused discomfort and unrest among cis people. They are extremely reluctant to use these pronouns under the guise that “it is not proper English”, or that they don’t understand how to use them. If you genuinely do not know, asking someone who uses they/them pronouns is a great way to learn and be respectful of their identity. The claim that these pronouns do not follow standard English, however, is an excuse to be close minded.
These pronouns DO in fact comply with standard English rules. If that is the real concern, in this video the associate editor of Merriam Webster dictionary explains why the use of plural ‘they’ in reference to a singular person is grammatically correct. As children, English speaking people are not taught to use ‘they/them’ in reference to a single person, so when we use them for the first time it may sound out of place, however that is just because we are not used to hearing them used like that. Another common argument used against they/them pronouns is that they are not “valid” because it cannot be found in the dictionary or a google search.
While someone’s gender identity should not have to be viewed as valid only if it has a dictionary definition, many dictionaries accept ‘they’ as a neutral pronoun. The US Oxford English dictionary includes in the definition of the word “they” that it is “used to refer to a person of unspecified sex” and that the use of plural pronouns in reference to a singular subject is not a new practice and dates back to the 16th century. They/them pronouns are extremely valid, and using thinly veiled excuses to hide your bigotry is not only disrespectful, but disgusting as well. In a new age where tolerance and is becoming a more common practice, it is time to accept the changing world and those that do not meet the societal standard of “normal”.
