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So Your Friend Has An Abusive Parent

 

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So you’ve just found out that your friend has an abusive parent.  Here’s how to help and support your friend.

1.Do not tell them to suck it up parental abuse isn’t real.  You would not do this if your friend confided in you that they have an abusive spouse, so please do not do it when it’s a parent or family member.  Just because they’re related doesn’t mean your friend is obligated to love and respect someone who doesn’t love or respect them.

2.If your friend asks for a place to stay, say yes if possible. They need all the support they can get.

3.Do not make the situation about you.  Your friend needs help.  Saying that the situation is hard for you when your friend is receiving all the abuse and possibly has their life in danger,does not help anyone.

4.Offer your support and protection.  Your friend wants and needs someone to believe them and check up on them.

5.Let them heal and leave at their own pace It’s difficult for anyone in a abusive situation. Let them take the initiative: they are likely to have some emotional baggage from living with their abuser all their life (all our parents leave us with baggage, imagine when that parent is actually abusive!)

6.Give them room. They don’t necessarily believe everything you say, and it’s all very confusing for them. This is  normal and please respect them and their boundaries.  They need room to grieve.

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