8 Examples of Rape Culture In Your Every Day Life

As most of you know, rape culture is the normalization of sexual assault and violence, and here in the twenty-first century, rape culture is so widely accepted that the concept of rape is often treated as trivial. This can be seen in the obvious examples, such as victim blaming and catcalling, but it this culture runs much deeper than you think. Here are ten ways that rape culture has infiltrated your every day life.

1. Let’s start with the obvious: “Your skirt is too short” and any other comments that teachers, parents or authorities have said to you in an attempt to reinforce a sexist dress code. This is a common example that you can hear up to multiple times a day, and it alludes to the idea that your clothes can convey that you are “asking for it” and what you are wearing can determine the validity of your rape.
2. Another obvious—and previously mentioned—example of rape culture in your every day life is catcalling. We all know this one. Whistling or shouting something—often sexual—at a woman as they walk by. Catcalling is a device used by men to assert their dominance, to remind women that they are able to evoke fear in us and there is nothing we can do about it. Catcalling can often be traumatizing for the victim, and makes them feel unsafe being out in public alone.
3. Here’s one that you might not have thought of. Ignoring or refusing to acknowledge when your favorite celebrity or athlete is a rapist or has committed domestic violence is an extremely toxic part of rape culture. The media often chooses to ignore when famous people commit these crimes, pardoning them or coming up with excuses. Fans do the exact same thing. The allegations against Woody Allen have been long forgotten, and he has enjoyed a career as a successful actor. John Lennon has admitted to being abusive to women, and he remains one of the most admired musicians ever.
4. Two words: rape jokes. It’s 2016, and for some reason, there are still people who find these funny. Personally, I have never understood the humor behind these crude jokes, but I know plenty of people who do. While it is obviously not okay to joke about and belittle a traumatic—and illegal—experience, the real problem with rape jokes is that they validate rapists. If rape is something we are going to joke about then it is often translated to something that we are okay with. A lot of rapists might not even realize that they’re rapists because they live in a society that treats their crimes frivolously. Similarly, a lot of victims might not realize they are victims because they live in a society that treats their trauma frivolously.
5. Assuming that most rape cases are false cases is a form of victim blaming. How are victims supposed to feel safe and unashamed when coming out about their trauma if they’re going to be accused of lying? Only 2-8% of rape accusations are false, which means that 92-98% of rape accusations are true. Stop assuming that the victim is making it up.
6. Believe it or not, some of your favorite songs contain lyrics or themes about rape. 2013’s number one song of the summer, “Blurred Lines,” anyone? Or the classic, “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Obviously there is a long list of songs that support the idea that consent is optional and sex is violent, but these seem to be two of the most prominent and two of the most popular.
7. Even the slang language we use is misogynistic and violent. Insults that are “used to degrade boys” are actually degrading to girls, for example, son of a b*tch, p*ssy and motherf*cker. And on top of that, the language we use to describe sex is violent, too: bang, nail, screw. This violent language has become normalized, but if you step back and think about it as objectively as possible, it’s repulsive.
8. And let’s finish our list with the most prominent and most toxic form of rape culture! We teach girls how to avoid getting raped instead of teaching boys not to rape. Boys need to be taught self control, and they need to be held responsible for their actions. If consent is not enthusiastically and clearly expressed, it is not consent.

Ultimately, rape culture is a very prevalent thing in our society. It surrounds us whether we know it or not. This culture that has been created and normalized throughout the years teaches us that victims and to blame and survivors are liars. This culture justifies crimes due to high status. This culture regulates our bodies and silences our voices. Rape culture is toxic. It is dangerous, and unfortunately, it is everywhere.