#WhenIWas Exposes Unwanted Sexual Attention

Dave D'Incau Jr for City Paper.

Dave D’Incau Jr for City Paper.


At first I was going to write about the hashtag itself and what it meant but then, I realized that I could do you one better. The hashtag was created for women to share their experiences with sexual assault. Some talk about catcalling and others about more graphic things.

Here’s my story:

Most of our parents don’t teach us what to do if someone catcalls you or when the person that touches you in a way you don’t like is someone you trust. My mom did. And even though I had that knowledge, when the time came I was unable to use it. They say that being paralyzed with fear is myth, a wives tale; it’s not. The first time he touched me I was asleep and we were on a bus to a fun filled family vacation. We were friends. I didn’t know how to not be his friend. Even after he slid his hands up and down my legs as I stiffened my body and pretended to be dreaming– I still didn’t know how to not call him friend.

And the catcallers, the strange men that yelled to me from sidewalks and far away corners; I called them friend too. I pretended that we had known each other for years and that instead of our names we called each other “sexy” and “lemme holla at you”. It was a game I played, a game that everybody got to participate in and one I didn’t enjoy. So When I Was fifteen I stopped playing. I stopped smiling and waving back to the men who yelled at me, I stopped looking the boy I called my friend in the eye– I stopped.

This hashtag means a lot to me. I didn’t want it to and I wish it didn’t but it does. There’s so much wrong with the we handle sexual assault and there’s so much that we can do to stop it. Call me by my name, keep your hands off of me unless I tell you not to. When I Was fifteen I learned that I had the right to speak up.



Have your say!

0 0
Written by
Epiphany Jones is an 18-year-old black girl who hopes to one day become a successful author of her own collection of short stories. In her free time, she likes eating authentic Indian food and binge watching old Brendan Fraser movies. Her likes include Marvel comics and Britney Spears. Her dislikes? The institutionalized hatred for black people worldwide and the color green. Pronouns: she/they Sexuality: Grey-Romantic Pansexual and proud


  1. Rather helpful, looking forward to visiting again.|

  2. Definitely a well-written look at this topic.

  3. I get pleasure from, result in I discovered just what I was having a look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day. Bye

  4. Thankyou for this fantastic post, I am glad I noticed this internet internet site on yahoo.

  5. I like what you guys are up also. Such smart work and reporting! Carry on the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my website 🙂

  6. Thanks for sharing your oduytscc ideas with this blog. Additionally, a misconception regarding the banking institutions intentions whenever talking about foreclosed is that the loan company will not have my installments. There is a certain amount of time that the bank will take payments here and there. If you are also deep within the hole, they’ll commonly call that you pay the particular payment in full. However, i am not saying that they will not take any sort of installments at all. Should you and the lender can seem to work some thing out, the particular foreclosure course of action may end. However, should you continue to miss out on payments underneath the new strategy, the foreclosure process can just pick up from where it left off.

  7. I’m still learning from you, while I’m making my way to the top as well. I absolutely enjoy reading all that is written on your website.Keep the aarticles coming. I enjoyed it!

  8. Good write-up, I¡¦m regular visitor of one¡¦s web site, maintain up the excellent operate, and It is going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time.

  9. I have not checked in here for a while as I thought it was getting boring, but the last several posts are good quality so I guess I¡¦ll add you back to my daily bloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂

  10. Hey! Fine post! Please maintain us posted when I can see a follow up!

  11. Thank you for another informative internet site. The place else might I get that type of info written in such an perfect manner? I’ve a mission that I am simply now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such details.

  12. I am in fact grateful to the holder of this website who has shared this enormous piece of
    writing at at this place.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Lost Password

Please enter your username or email address. You will receive a link to create a new password via email.

Skip to toolbar