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5 Signs You Are Being Fetishized


As prom season approaches, many promposals have begun to surface online, and whilst most are harmless and rather cute, some promposals are outright racist and offensive.

Recently an image of a white teen asking a black girl to prom has taken the internet by storm, in this disturbing promposal the black girl is holding a sign which refers to her as ‘dark meat’, whilst wearing a KFC crown. This promposal is a clear example of the racist fetishsization that many black people and people of colour can experience from their significant others.

Racial fetishes strip people of colour of their individuality. They are dehumanizing and insulting. There is absolutely nothing flattering about them, they are based on societal ideas of what people of colour are supposed to look or act like.

As people of colour, we have to deal with these fetishsizations in our daily life, from dating apps such as Tinder to being catcalled in the streets. Therefore, it is important to know when you are being fetishized and recognize that you deserve better in your relationships.

Here are 5 signs that your significant other (and potential prom date) may be fetishizing you:


  1. Your significant other often compares you to food

Calling your partner sweetie or honey, can often be a sign of endearment, but if your partner continually describes you as the specific food that matches the colour of your skin, such as chocolate or coffee (if you are black) it could be sign of fetishsization.


  1. The first timer

If your significant other constantly reminds you that, you are the first person of a particular race that they have been with/had sex with, it could be a sign of fetishsization; you are a person not an experiment.


  1. They never introduce you to their friends or family

Although this could be to shield you from their family’s racist views, if you have been dating someone for a while and still haven’t met the people that they are closest to, it could be a sign that your partner is dating you to fulfill a fetish.


  1. Your partner is unwilling to learn abut your culture

Culture is a big part of a person’s life, and a part of dating someone from another culture is learning new experiences and discovering your partners cultures and traditions. However, if your partner is uninterested in such a big part of your life, it could be a sign that you are being treated as a fetish.


  1. If your partner doesn’t check their friends for their racist views/jokes

Talking about race is hard for anyone particularly white people, but if your partner allows there friends to make racist jokes that they know would offend you, it could be a sign that you are being fetishized, remember when you fail to speak out you allow it to happen.



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Temitope Mayomi
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Tope is an 18 year old from London, going to university this September to study Philosophy. In the future she hope to practice International human rights law in America. You can find Tope on twitter: @trebbecam or email:


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