Being trans wasn’t a choice. It never is, for anyone. I also recognise that the hardships of being trans are indescribable for some. Not only that, but they are so under-represented that too often, people forget just how hard it can be to be trans or not even know at all in the first place. I do not appreciate the fact that strangers can get away with harassing me and my trans friends to the point of kicking us in the most popular park in London on a Saturday afternoon; I’m not a fan of the reality that every single company or legal document will require you to lie and either choose ‘male or female’ when you are not necessarily either of those things; I truly despise the injustices that come with surgery for trans people – how unnecessarily long and complicated the process is, and how you can’t even get breast reduction surgery with the government health service unless you are specifically going through a ‘sex change’ to become ‘biologically male’, 99% of the time. However, I like to see past the hardships that trans people face.
When you are trans or when you reflect on others’ lives as trans people, it can be easy to get caught up in how difficult it is. Often, the whole basis of a trans person’s life is considered to be centred around struggle. Of course, the world denying you of who you are is an awful thing – actually, it’s likely one of the worst things you might be forced to endure as a human being. Through all of this, though, I like to see being trans as a brilliant thing, and I would like to briefly show you how being trans is not a burden, but a gift.
If I could go back as a 16 year old (my age now) to a time where I wasn’t born and choose whether I would be CIS or trans in my life, I would still choose trans. I experienced ‘being CIS’, and I didn’t like it. Naturally, for that reason, I would never want to be CIS, although there is much more to it than that – looking past the feeling of knowing I’m trans and that I always will be, the things that come with being trans are now things that I would never wish to regress from.
Being trans means you’re in a community of amazing people. I’m in a smaller community of amazing young people, more than half of which are trans (and most of which are in a sexual minority), which I see quite regularly. Not only are they all an amazing support system towards each other and myself, but they’re also the people who I truly feel comfortable with, after a lifetime of not feeling at ease with many peers at all. I feel as if they are essential to my life, and I now could not imagine my life without them in it.
Being trans means you get to teach other people. One of the things I love about being trans is that I get to teach people about the community almost daily. It gives me the opportunity to constantly help people to learn, and I feel I’m so lucky to be able to gift people with knowledge of such an important thing. Also, I may have quite a vast, complex understanding and knowledge of the trans community, but that doesn’t mean I’m not also immune to learning – I frequently learn about the beautiful things trans people do and are set to do and how intricate and wonderful it is to be trans. I am absolutely fascinated with exploring what it is to be trans, for myself and others. I will continue to gather knowledge, experience and opinions regarding it, and continue to feel passion towards it.
Being trans means you get to express yourself. Evidently, CIS people still do this, but by being trans I feel like I have pushed through a barrier that not all people can break or even want to explore breaking. I feel amazing and free and happy in this aspect of my life because I am free to just be anything I want, every day (obviously, though, you can do this no matter your gender).
Being trans means you can represent others. I remember genderfluid Ruby Rose’s video ‘Break Free’ reducing me to tears the first time I watched it, because I had never seen something that actually represented me that well, or even came close to it. I remember Brittany of Buzzfeed complaining about how LGBTQ representation is generally poor (“the closest thing I have [that I can relate to] is Buffy – and she’s straight”), but with trans people, particularly non-binary trans people, it is especially rare and disappointing. It is incredible that Ruby Rose can finally make thousands of people around the world finally feel like someone is showing others who they really are, aside them trying to explain it and CIS people dismissing it at times.
Being trans means you can help others because they will reach out to you. If you are trans (or if you’re in a sexual minority you will probably also have experienced this), you might know that once you come out, you begin to get people asking you for advice or to relate your situation to theirs. “Is there a word for what I am?”, “Can you help me come out?”, “Please can you protect me/defend me? This person is being horrible”. No matter what the help others ask you for is, it is usually extremely challenging to give them the right advice or help them in exactly the right way, but, none of the best things in life are easy, are they? It is fulfilling and beautiful to make another person’s life easier, and for people to trust you and confide in you. Everybody needs that in someone.
I won’t go on and on, but I am certain that I could add many more things to the list. The moral of the story is, although being trans is very difficult, once you mentally and emotionally transcend (heh. Transcend) your vision of trans as being a difficult thing, full stop, you begin to see it as an amazing thing that is more than worth the struggle. I wouldn’t change myself, or the community, for the world – trans people help to make the world a little more colourful.
Or a lot more colourful, depending on how you look at it.
