Earlier this year I was diagnosed with depression. I am currently on medication, and I am focusing on living a positive life. Lately I have been re evaluating the relationships in my life, and I am really figuring out what friends are really there for me and a positive influence in my life. Almost the past two years I have had this friend who always brought me down a little, she made me feel bad about myself sometimes, and always judged and criticized other people. I consider myself to be a very open accepting person, as long as someone is a good person they are welcome anytime in my life.
Other friends have warned me and told me about how this friend made them feel uncomfortable, or how she makes people feel judged. When I commit to a friend, I don’t leave or abandon them so I kind of ignored the warnings. The past couple months this girl has made me feel worse and worse about myself pointing out my flaws, as if I don’t see them, and her negativity has caused some of my other friends to not want to be around her. Her constant judging people and criticism is just a reflection of herself. I do not want to be around people who constantly bring me down.
I should say I was always nice to this girl, never talked bad about her, never was rude to her when she was rude to me very often. I sometimes like to self reflect and think about my choices and really see if I am going on the right path for me. The girl recently realized I had slowly taken a step back, and completely freaked out.
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Friendships can be toxic too.
Her and this other girl immediately started messaging me online. The other girl kept messaging me over and over when I was not even responding. They were saying things to me that are considered harassment. They called me names, told me no one cared about me, and many other things. I chose not to steep so low and not insult them back. They see that I am living a happier life then I was a year ago, I am happy, I am smiling, and I have found a positive group of friends. Maybe they can’t handle that but it’s not my problem. I will admit getting those messages did hurt a little.
They were trying to spin why I didn’t want to hang out with them on me. They kept stabbing and stabbing me with their words, trying to hurt me. I didn’t let them get to me though. I told them I would always respect them and our friendship, but like you probably guessed that wasn’t working for them. Sometimes friends grow apart, and that’s totally normal and natural. Sadly this will not be the last person to ever leave my life and I chose to look at this friendship as a learning experience. I chose to grow as a person and take these situations to know how to react in the future.
In life sometimes people are going to want to tear you down because they are torn down.
I am person who is still figuring things out, figuring out who I am, and what I believe in. One thing is definitely for sure though, negative people will not be allowed or tolerated in my life. I chose to move on a stronger person than I was before and ignore people who are irrelevant to my life or the happiness of me and my friends. I hope these people one day find happiness internally because I know they are obviously having a hard time. I am choosing to live my life right now as positively as I can, and enjoy every moment I have.
