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Older Men,Leave Young Girls Alone

Image via today.com
Image via today.com
I was 17. He was 33. We were on a date. Of all the things I’d done in Europe, this had to be (one of) the boldest. In hindsight I can see what a disastrous idea it was, but at the time I felt extremely proud of myself. After all, wasn’t it an accomplishment to go out with someone nearly twice your age? Answer: it wasn’t, especially when you’re not yet an adult. Unfortunately, much of society views relationships between girls and men without a critical eye, at times even encouraging it.

Perhaps the most famous case of this pairing can be seen in the novel Lolita, which tells the story of a middle-aged man abusing a 12-year-old girl. Disturbingly a lot of people didn’t (and still don’t) see it that way. It’s been called “the only convincing love story of our century,” and another critic wrote that the book featured “not the corruption of an innocent child by a cunning adult, but the exploitation of a weak adult by a corrupt child.” You probably rolled your eyes at that sentence, since it’s obvious that a minor can’t consent to such a relationship.

However, a Swedish 27-year-old man was acquitted of raping a 13-year-old girl because she seemed “well-developed” and didn’t act her age. Similarly, a 44-year-old teacher in London received only a slap on the wrist after sleeping with his 16-year-old student. According to the judge, “If grooming is the right word to use, it was she who groomed [him] [and] [he] gave in to temptation.”

Part of the reason why such a toxic culture exists is how the media sexualizes girls. From the racy 80’s ad featuring a 14-year-old Brooke Shields to the infamous 90’s music video of a 16-year-old Britney Spears clad in a sexy schoolgirl uniform, young women are tailored for male consumption. The trend continues today, with fashion shoots hypersexualizing 10-year-old girls and celebrities like Lana del Rey (in one song she sings “Come on, you know you like (good) little girls/You can be my daddy”) romanticizing inappropriate relationships.

There’s a name for this: the “Lolita Effect.” Coined by gender studies professor Meenakshi Gigi Durham, it describes the tendency of mainstream society to project expectations of sexiness on young girls. It shouldn’t be a surprise that this type of conditioning is harmful: it forces children to grow up too fast and reinforces the idea that preying on them is normal.

It’s telling that when the then 35-year-old actor James Franco tried to have sex with a 17-year-old, no serious repercussions followed. It’s telling that the phrase “If she 12, I’m 12” sparked a meme instead of absolute disgust. It’s telling that Twitter users made sexual remarks about Skai Jackson, a 14-year-old actress.

Some have already attempted to address this problem by attacking the girls involved, telling them to dress or act a certain way in order to not be victimized. This line of criticism, however, is futile. It’s not their fault that creepy older guys lust after them. If anything, we should turn our attention to the men responsible. Young girls have a right to enjoy their childhood, and no one should be able to take that away.

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