When you’re Black, it’s never really as simple as going to school. It’s more like mentally preparing yourself to interact with people who unconsciously expect the worst from you. I know that it appears incredibly ungrateful to complain about getting your education, and an amazing one at that, but there’s something about the Black student’s experience in the education system that makes it uniquely distinct.
This experience becomes something else entirely for Black students attending predominantly White schools. My parents, like many others, sought the best education for their children, and a lot of the time, the ‘best education’ lies in predominantly white schools. White schools tend to have the most expensive grants, the top teachers, the keen learning environments. These factors lure parents of color to invest into the hope that their kids will be successful.
“It’s tough knowing that you had to work this hard to feel comfortable in your learning environment where others are welcomed with no questions asked.”
The education at my school is phenomenal for a public school. We are taught to push ourselves, and although the environment grows competitive, it forces you to actually apply yourself- and that can be good. But what many fail to take into account is the cost of this sweet education. Even when I contemplate the cons, I feel as if I am ungrateful. But the truth is that the cost is more than possible yearly tuitions, which can be detrimental by themselves, it’s the surroundings that Black students are placed in.
In an ideal world, there would be a plethora of top schools with diverse student bodies. There could be high schools with majority Black students and teachers that rank highly in the nation. Unfortunately, we do not live in that world and the options of diverse high-achieving schools are extremely limited. I grew up in an environment where I was often the sole Black student in the classroom. Where I would have to cringe my way through racist anecdotes because I was told that they were funny. Where I would struggle between calling out my white classmate for using the n-word (yes, I should have). Where I would tense up when the history teacher spoke about slavery because I could feel everyone else staring my way. Where even my teachers could not resist the appeal of a good old racist joke.
And although throughout each experience at each white school there was always a cluster of Black students who were going through the same thing, it was still hard to relate to my peers. There’s always that hushed voice inside my head that reminds me of the expectations that I feel like I have to surpass. No one ever really expects you to be as smart as you are. And once you rise above one set of expectations and generalizations there’s always more waiting for you. It’s like you can never be enough.
There’s a stigma surrounding the Black community and education. It’s as if you cannot be Black and intelligent. As if our skin color automatically determines how high we will reach in the education latter. This stigma tends to affect not only those outside our community but inside as well. We’re taught to ostracize the intelligent Black man or woman, because ‘they think they’re better than us’ or ‘they’re acting white’. And it’s exhausting because this stigma becomes something that you feel obligated to prove wrong. It becomes a lot heavier when you fail a class because it’s like no one’s even surprised. It doesn’t take much for our education to be undermined and our enthusiasm to become discouraged. You have to prove to your teacher from the beginning that your worth giving a chance, and they’re still surprised when you ace a test or earn a scholarship, it’s like your success is unprecedented.
Over time, you learn to adapt. You find your niche with friends that you can relate to and teachers that simply get it. You learn to roll your eyes and bite your tongue and get used to overcoming expectations. But it’s still tough knowing that you had to work this hard to feel comfortable in your learning environment where others are welcomed with no questions asked. It’s like we’re guests in their territory and we must prove why we should be invited back. They say that the times of segregated and unequal education are long over, and while this rings true in the obvious way in which I’m allowed to learn with white peers, at times it seems hard to tell just how far we’ve come.
