Living in the south in the United States, I came across an issue one day that almost seemed unspoken of. I had to tell my family that I had developed feelings for a mixed guy, half white half African American. I kept my relationship a secret for quite some time because I had always heard horror stories of white families disowning their children because of their love of someone of a different color. Would their disapproval stop my relationship that I have become so fond of? What would I do if they did not agree? Would I lose my best friend who has become my boyfriend? Luckily, my immediate family approved and fell for my boyfriend’s personality and charm just like I did, but society did not. It felt that the word that I was in an interracial relationship spread like wildfire.
This is pretty easy coming from a town of less than 3,000 people. I was shunned by many people, and lost many friendships along the way. I could see the disapproving looks from people when I would proudly walk beside him in public. People started to avoid me as if I had some disease. I could hear the snickers and snide comments people would say about me. It felt like I was being called everything under the sun “whore”, “slutty”, and worst of all, “n***** lover”. I could never understand why I was being treated in such a terrible way. People were putting me under stereotypes that my relationship did not fall under. Why did they act like something was wrong with me? Why was I being given such critical assumptions because of the skin color of my boyfriend? All I did was fall for an amazing guy who treated me with respect. He introduced me to his world with his friends and family, and they all treated me like I was a real person and not by the stereotype my skin color should fall under.
There were some comments that were not as harsh, but still needed to be pointed out. After a while of dating my boyfriend, people started to meet him and they were making comments such as, “Your boyfriend is just white guy in a darker body!” or “He doesn’t act black, he’s really cool!” implying that his skin tone determines what he must act like. “Oh, I did not know you were into black guys!” saying I am only allowed to be with one certain race. “What will your dad say when he finds out?” assuming coming from a white home my father would disapprove even though he found out before most of my friends and he did approve. There were many more small comments like that. They seem so harmless until the realization of what was being said. How are we ever supposed to be considered equal if we’re still in a society that has labels for the color of our skin? Why must it seem like I should be downgraded because I am dating someone of a darker skin tone? Racism will never die as long as one group feels superior to another. My relationship was not just for sex, to “rebel against my family”, etc. Love is love, and maybe once that can be realized our society as a whole can have positive progression and let go of our insufferable roots that have been passed on for many generations.
