“How many goats for your dowry?”
“Oh so it’s arranged, isn’t it?”
“So, do you have to marry your cousin?”
It’s those sayings that most middle eastern young adults are probably more than used to hearing. I mean, then again is it that far off? (it is, this is sarcasm) But often there’s the stereotypes implemented that most Middle Eastern marriages are arranged and this is not the case. While it does still exist as well as it does all over the world, the culture actually follows a more conservative form of dating called “courtship”. No, it is not arranged or forced or whatever synonym you may think coincides along with it. It’s the just the idea of two individuals romantically interested with the other pursuing a relationship in hopes of marriage. It’s done with no physical contact. It’s sometimes done under religious pretenses as the Middle East is heavily influenced by Islam. Both individuals still get a say in whether they want to marry the other or not and it’s all just done under the parents blessing. Again, in no way is it arranged.
Dating, which can also still be found in the middle eastern culture but is not as common as courtship, is two individuals being romantically together in a non-committed way that may or may not end up in marriage. Honestly, it’s just a looser form of courtship to show you that maybe the ties between the two aren’t so far off. Dating is more found in other cultures and especially in the Western culture and many old fashioned Middle Easterns may find it “sinful” to be seeing people with no true intention to marry but dating also allows people to gain experience and the knowledge on how to interact with others romantically to discover what they seek out of a relationship that courtship may not be able to provide since it is taken on much more seriously which can be seen as intimidating.
Now, why bring this up? It can’t be that important, can it?
This is for Middle Easterns who grew up confused through high school, college, etc. in an environment that may have told them that dating is disgraceful while watching all the peers intertwined with others and feeling that pang of jealousy. It’s for the ones who who watched everyone get engaged at 19 to only one person to be with for the rest of their lives and felt their stomach sink at the idea of it. This is for the other cultures who have the wrong idea about how relationships work in the Middle Eastern culture.
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