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You’re Not Selfish, You Just Wanna Be Happy

From a young age, I always found it hard to let go of things when I grew out of them; clothes, stuffed animals, my strawberry 2-piece bathing suit. As I grew older, I would hold onto to more meaningful aspects of my life; relationships, friendships, other cute bathing suits. So naturally, I became a hoarder of feelings…and bathing suits. Many times I’ve tried cleaning out my life and my room, relieving myself of boys, friends, and ill-fitting bathing suits. I’ve given up, taken breaks and gotten a snack, but always go right back because I’ve learned this: letting go of certain people, feelings, and things aren’t easy, but it’s a necessary component of moving on

In the past 2 years, I’ve let go of boyfriends, friends, and more bathing suits. People – and bathing suits – I thought would be in my life for years to come were suddenly holding me back – or didn’t fit anymore – so they had to go. But don’t worry, I’ll save you the heartbreak of throwing one of YOUR bathing suits in a sad cardboard box by telling you that it is okay to let things go. Being selfish has such a bad rep, and in some ways – for example, me not wanting to share any of my clothes and definitely NOT my strawberry bathing suit – it is terrible to be selfish, but in order to mature, grow and learn from all the bullshit that life throws at us, some situations require us to disassociate ourselves from people, bad habits, and feelings that aren’t benefiting us anymore.

There comes a point in our lives when certain relationships don’t cut it. You no longer have things in common with that person, whether it’s a friend, significant other or family member, and you’ve stopped growing together. Maybe you’ve gone on to bigger and better things while they are still stuck in their unhealthy ways. You’ve moved past the high school drama, but they’re still hating on that person who did that thing to them that one time that one year. Trust me, we’re all guilty of feeding into past drama; that’s what inspired me to write this article in the first place (thanks, bitchy ex-friends). Maybe you don’t love them anymore. Perhaps they don’t support you, and you find yourself stooping down to their negative level.  So often, we get stuck in this limbo of “should I stay or should I leave?” because we have been through so much with one person. But I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what hoops you’ve jumped through together, or how comforting they were when your grandpa died, if one day you wake up, look at them, and realize this isn’t what you want anymore, let it go. I understand that when it comes to friends, or the love of your life, or maybe your parents, there’s a feeling of absence you won’t be able to shake when they’re gone, but your newfound confidence and success will eventually take its place. In my case, if you have a friend who is unsupportive of your endeavors, or rarely stops to make sure you’re okay, or a boyfriend who is breaking you down more than building you up, chances are, its time to get out…and fast. Whether you’re questioning the relationship’s worth because they’re insecure, uncaring, or immature, that’s a tell-tale sign to consider cutting ties.

Ahh, and bad habits, everyone has them. Whether you drink too much coffee and can’t seem to get a good night’s sleep, or you hang out with the wrong group of people, or you spend your money or might have an unhealthy addiction, don’t be afraid to withdraw yourself with the fear that you’re dependent on it. You’re dependent on nobody and nothing; you will find a better friend, you will find a better love, you will get by without a family member no matter how hard it seems, and contrary to popular belief, you WILL find a better bathing suit (sorry that one’s more to encourage me than anyone else.) So let go of those toxic people who have decided that their wants, needs, and well-being are more important than your own. You have put aside your needs and mental health aside for theirs for too long.  You’ve missed enough movies because they dragged you to the one they wanted to see. You’ve lied enough for them. So now it’s time to be selfish and look out for yourself…oh and, let go of that bathing suit that doesn’t fit.

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Derrian Douglas
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Avid caffeine consumer. Hopeless romantic. Social media fiend. Jonas Brothers expert. Future Bulldog owner & city slicker. Dreams of traveling, finding true love, and discovering a way to not gain weight while eating and not exercising.

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