Dear Baby Boomers,
We, the millennials, would like to commend your great scientific accomplishment. You have perfected time travel. You have managed to stay perfectly sound inside of a time-stasis bubble, allowing you to remain in the 1950’s indefinitely regardless of how time passes around you. All my life, I’ve been told that control over time was impossible. Yet here you are, amidst the world of the early 21st century, walking, talking, and acting like the world hasn’t moved beyond the mid-20th century.
I admit, I have found myself befuddled many times by the modern day with the rapid advancements in technology. I too would not mind a simpler time. A time of drive-in movies, milkshakes, casual racism, record players, and manual transmission cars. A time when white people were singing about drugs and sex instead of the modern Afro-filth. A time where men were men and women were ignored. A time where a guy could say what he thought without caring. The good old days. Appealing, aren’t they?
But regardless, I am astonished by how you managed this and the motivation necessary to undertake this breathtaking task. You have captured the admiration of myself and the whole of my generation. I initially thought that landing on the moon would be your generation’s crowning achievement. This however, shatters all expectations.
That being said, I would like to ask you to disclose this technology. I would like to hold onto the Obama administration for a few more years. I believe that we, as a country, need time to evaluate our current situation. The upcoming election has the United States in political chaos. We need to pause until the next election cycle to rethink our options.
Please. I beg of you. For the good of America — for the good of the world, I need you to divulge the plans for your time-stasis bubble. You hold America’s future in your palm. With the passage of each day, our situation grows more dire.
Dante D. Joseph