Friends! How Many Of Us Have Them?

Friend (n.) : a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.

How many friends do you have that sometimes you just think, “Why am I friends with you?” Not in a joking, saying-just-to-get-you-mad kind of way, but in an I-honestly-believe-the-only-reason-we-even-say-hello-to-each-other-is-because-we-sat-beside-each-other-in-8th-grade-history-and-just-grew-accustom-to-each-other-being-there kind of way. Do you ever think, “Am I truly their friend, or am I just someone with an ear to lend and some time on my hands?”

I’ve realized this too late, considering I am now in my senior year of high school, and don’t have time to start over with new friends. Honestly, I don’t want to. I love my friends, every last one of them, but I realize that we have virtually nothing in common. I’ve created so many bonds and memories with these people but if we were to make a list of the things we love, how many would be a match? Do they need to be a match?

Do you have to have things in common with people in order to be their friend? No, the entirety of my life is proof of that. Would it be nice? Yes. I would love to have someone to bond with about how Yusuke Urameshi totally dominated the Dark Tournament in season 2, and it would be nice to just chill and listen to The Divine Feminine album from Mac Miller and know that the one I’m listening to it with loves it just as much as I do. This, however, is a luxury I don’t have. And it’s no one’s fault, we all love different things, those different things just happen to never cross paths.

The same goes for our personal struggles. I’m not going to say what my personal struggles are, but I can guarantee you that they’re not something your average friend can relate to. Of course, they can listen and comfort you, but they can never really get it because the experience isn’t theirs to “get.” The same goes for me. I can’t relate to having too many colleges to choose from when I can’t even afford the applications. I can’t relate to my boyfriend being a jerk when I’ve been single longer than I’ve been alive. And I can’t relate when something tragic happens on Game of Thrones because it isn’t on Netflix or Hulu and I don’t want to start mid-way through. (If I’m going to commit then I need to do it right.)

And it’s not a matter of “I have nothing in common with them,” it’s more so, “they have nothing in common with me,” which is understandable. The things I enjoy aren’t exactly meant for the masses. They’re not things I went looking for; they were just there, and I enjoyed the fact that they were. That doesn’t mean I shun anything sailing down mainstream, it just means that instead of grabbing a canoe and sailing along I prefer to dip my toes in the stream and enjoy an experience that anyone else could enjoy.



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