Introducing The Next Generation Of Leaders And Thinkers

To The Person You Miss The Most

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The person you miss the most is often the person you cannot communicate with. Maybe it’s for your mental health. Maybe it’s for the betterment of the other person. Whatever the reason is, you miss them so much your bones ache. One of the hardest losses to grieve is the loss of someone who is still living.

The thing is, you would talk to the person if you could, but you know nothing good could come out of it. So what happens is that you’re left with the unsure glances and the texts that are typed but never sent. It’s a difficult thing that the person can suffocate you even if you haven’t spoken in months. You see, the thing about missing someone is that you think about them so much it’s like you have been communicating the whole time. But the reality is that you haven’t so the interactions you have are little to none and end with a weight on your chest.

Missing someone is constant but the feeling comes in waves of severity. Some days you think about it for only a split second but other days it’s insurmountable and hard to get through the day. It’s always there, it doesn’t go away. You can miss someone for a long amount of time but it can still feel exactly the same. It’s because the memories move around you like they happened yesterday and their laugh is embedded in your ears and the color of their eyes is still the brightest you’ve seen.

Some things drift away as time passes by though. The way they said your name will become a whisper and the advice they gave will blur. You’ll try to hold onto it and trap it inside of you but the fact of the matter is, you’ll never hear them say your name again. Maybe that’s what’s best for everyone, even though you’re running through every memory, trying to remember the way the syllables rolled off their lips. The way they said it wasn’t just letters, it was like a song or a poem or a symphony.

When the symphonies turn to a whisper you’ll want to talk about it. But soon you will exhaust every word that you could think of but the feeling is still there. You’ll want there to be a word to express what you feel but you looked it up and the only word truly is “miss.” “Miss” doesn’t begin to cover it. “Miss” doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. They’ll tell you that it’ll go away in time. You want to stop feeling this way, but this feeling is all you have left of them. Well, you also have the pictures that you want to delete and the messages from months before. You want to delete them but you know that pictures are basically memories that are permanent and you want what you had to stay permanent. As for the messages, they mean nothing, you know that. At the same time, they do mean something though. They serve as this time capsule into what was going on at the time, something you keep re-reading even though you hate yourself for it.he

Another thing that will be hard is hearing their name. It’ll show up everywhere. It’ll be on TV and it’ll be on billboards. It’ll be the name of every single person you check in at your job. The letters are going to dig into your chest and you’re going to have to pretend like it doesn’t hurt. You’re going to have to pretend like it doesn’t hurt, even though after your shift you have to go into the bathroom to catch your breath.

You’re going to look for them everywhere. You’re going to start seeing them in everyone.  In the mall, at school, and in your dreams. The dreams are going to be vivid. The person is going to be there and smiling and laughing and when you wake up it’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks. The bricks will get lighter, it’ll just take a while.

You’re going to miss people but never in the same way twice. The feeling in your chest will be in a slightly different place and the symphonies will play in a slightly different key. You’re going to miss this person for a while, you’ll carry bits and pieces of them around for perhaps your whole life. I don’t how long it’ll last exactly. But I do know, you’re going to be okay.

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