I understand.
I come from a separated family, where I don’t see my mom or sister for months on end. I am the daughter of busy parents, who spend late nights working while I hole up in my room, alone. I come from a culture that, although now increasingly integrated from globalization and therefore well-introduced to Western holidays, is not so much of a ‘feast’ or ‘food baby’ fan, and there is no holiday break. So I spend most of my Thanksgivings alone. And yes, it’s rather sad to see people posting about family reunions and delicious, homemade food – but it’s okay. Spending Thanksgiving alone doesn’t make me, or you, any less loved.
Anyone can be alone on Thanksgiving. You can be a kid with parents unable to be present or provide for you, you can be an adult caught up with work and away from home, you can be an elderly person living alone whose family called and said, “Sorry, I can’t make it.” That’s not a shame. People may pity you, but it is not inevitable, long-lasting, nor something to dread each coming year. Your culture or religion might not even celebrate Thanksgiving! And that is fine.
When I was young and still lived with my mom and sister, I would always secretly make a card with my sister for my mom on Thanksgiving as a personal thank you for being a wonderful parent. We ended up making it last minute because I forgot so my mom came home to us suspiciously colouring and hurriedly cleaning up markers, tape, scissors…and my sister spelled it “tank yuo.” My mom laughed and accepted the mess of a card, saying she was ‘tankful’ for us as her daughters.
I don’t live with her anymore and because I’m so busy with school, it’s easy to forget to say thank you – especially when I’m alone, and all I can think about is how that’s one thing I’m not thankful for. However, Thanksgiving is about being thankful. It’s not about physically being with your family, friends, loved ones, and getting the perfect photo or Boomerang gif, it’s about appreciating them – and although being with them would be a great way for doing so, it’s okay if you’re not.
I cannot stress enough that though you are alone and may feel lonely, there is someone thinking of you. Appreciating you. Wondering if you’re okay.
You are strong in passing this holiday alone. I understand if you didn’t want to be. I hope that someday you will find loved ones surrounding you, whether through technology or in person and are more thankful than ever for that. I hope you will get the chance to say “tank yuo” to someone too.
