Trapped, confined in a crystal-clear crate that seems to close in tighter as time races by, we see our destination past the crate’s reflection. We frantically try to break the box to grant our escape but to little avail, we remain trapped in the crystal box where of course everyone seems to know the secret exit passage but us. That my friends is the infamous glass ceiling. The ceiling boxes us in, limiting our movement from either side. It does more than just limit our growth, it confines us until we cannot move at all.
When we were young, we were taught to “shoot for the moon because even if we miss, we’ll land amongst the stars.” What we didn’t learn, however, was how to deal with constant complaints and snide statements made by society on our appearance and aptitude. We didn’t learn how to deal with wage inequality. We didn’t learn how to deal with false positive reinforcements. Surely, we didn’t learn how to deal with breaking the glass ceiling.
Although I wasn’t taught this at school, I find comfort in knowing that through the brave actions of other women, I learned. Figures such as Lucy Stone, Emma Watson, and albeit, Hillary Clinton have paved the way for women to not only thrive but shine in the workforce. They actively acknowledged the glass ceiling and have hit the ground running trying to teach women like myself that their potential will radiate through the reflection of said ceiling and in turn, will ‘raise the roof.’
Unfortunately, women are not just subjects to the sole misfortunes of societal perception. We have our own battles to fight as well. Self-esteem plays a major part in hindering our breakthrough.
I struggled with the extreme emotions of worthlessness and self-doubt. While surrounded by Barbies and bombshells, it’s hard to identify as one of them when you feel like you just don’t ‘fit the role’. I didn’t have the bright blonde hair and blazing blue eyes. I didn’t have the ‘ideal’ hourglass figure. For years I ostracized myself and lived an underwhelming life right under that ceiling. Alone I spent my fifth-grade dance, fawning over my first crush. My only ‘friend’ was internal emptiness, which brought warmth to my stone-cold heart as I became accustomed to it. My hobby was wallowing in self-pity. Every day I had the potential to break out of that vicious cycle and bust out of the glass box, soaring through the ceiling, leaving the shards of pain behind. Every day I refused. I hid behind the excuse I created: “society drove me to this,” “if society wasn’t so cruel, I would be okay.”
These feelings continued throughout high school, until junior year. Something shifted in me that year. I made close friends, I went out more, and I joined the school newspaper. One day in the newsroom, I stared at a black computer screen. In it, I saw my reflection, only it wasn’t the girl I was accustomed to. This girl seemed happy and confident. I blinked constantly, thinking it was just my imagination. Nope. The ‘new’ girl was still there. That’s when I realized that somewhere along the line, I did it. I broke the barrier keeping me from self-acceptance and self-love. The shards of pain I once inflicted on myself were on the ground, no longer able to hurt me. I forgot about the Barbies and the bombshells and noticed that I, the same girl, was and had always been beautiful. I realized that while, yes, the constructs of society had hindered this realization, overall, I placed those barriers on myself. My ‘glass ceiling’ was constructed by me. Doubt and pity limited me, my doubt and pity.
So now, as I prepare to enter the ‘real world’ I know that more glass ceilings will try to burden me again. Wage gaps, double standards, sexism, those are all, unfortunately, boundaries in my future. But the one glass ceiling that’s most important to break is the one I placed on myself. With that gone, I now know I, as an empowered and independent woman, have the power to break the others.
