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Tips on Spotting Fake Friends

Everyone has had one at some point in their lives. Some more than others, depending on where you fall on the Sherlock Holmes to Carrie White spectrum. But there are some people who are a bit too trusting and naive. The ones who often find themselves in Cady Heron and Regina George-like situations. (Being either character would work here.)

So for those who are a bit misguided when it comes to choosing friends, here are some pointers on spotting fake friends:

Tip 1: First and foremost, pay attention to the overall vibe they give off. Always listen to your instincts. If something about them just seems a little off to you, be careful about what you say. I’m not talking about the you’re-different-from-what-I’m-used-to kinda off vibes, the you-seem-kinda-unreal or the you-seem-overwhelming-fake kinda off vibes is what you’re looking for.

Tip 2: If their vibe eludes you, their word choice and tone is the next best indicator. Slight changes in the tilt of their voice, weirdly phrased sentences, backhanded compliments are all big flashing red lights that you caught yourself a fake friend.

If it feels like you’ve been transported into the black and white, good vs. evil world of The Wizard of Oz, you might wanna run before a house comes crashing down on you.

Tip 3: Pay attention to the facial expressions they make towards you when they think you’re not looking. If you turn away to examine a suspiciously Jesus looking chip and see a not so friendly look on their face out the corner of your eye, it may be time to cut them loose. When you turn back around and they smile so wide you get Bruce from Finding Nemo feels… be careful, those teeth might be sharpen when you turn your back.

Tip 4: Ask yourself, “When do they come around and what do they do when they come around?” If you notice they’re only around when they need you for something, they’re not only fake but also a user. The ultimate fake friend, stay as far way from that type as you can. ( Unless it’s a mutualistic user relationship, then use each other with all your might.) Also, if when they’re around you and all they do is gossip about everybody and everything to ever exist, then you’re probably not exempt from their gossip list, either.

There you have it, a guide to spot fake friend. Sometimes there are really nice or socially awkward people who may spark on the fake-friend-o’ meter. Keep that in mind. Have a great, fake friend free day!

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