Introducing The Next Generation Of Leaders And Thinkers

Being “Pretty” For An Indian Girl

From time to time, I go to events with my friends or family, whether it be concerts, parties, or any other occasion that I need to be present for because my parents force me to go. I’m not much of a party person and I am a somewhat shy individual – I have social anxiety – but that doesn’t stop me from meeting new people and making friends.

While I’m out, I sit down and start talking with a good-looking, seemingly nice-natured guy, and I think to myself, he seems lovely! So far, so good, right? Then, inevitably, he spills out, “you’re pretty for an Indian girl,” and an uncomfortable silence befalls us as I don’t know how to respond to that. In my head, I debate whether I should get up and leave or dump my drink on his head. Instead, I answer back with an “uh… thanks” and move the conversation to a different subject; however, if he’s lucky, and I’m extra uncomfortable with him, I’ll make up an excuse to leave. 

Saying that I’m “pretty for an Indian girl” isn’t a compliment because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Saying this insinuates an insult to my entire ethnicity, my culture and the country that I originate from. It’s also incredibly rude to all the other Indian, and, really, all other types of Asian, girls in the world. 

You are basically saying, “the Indians I’ve met/seen are gross. Your relatives are gross. Your traditions and culture are gross, but, you, you’re somehow different from all of that.” When you try to make it sound like it’s supposed to be a compliment, it makes it worse.

Another question we get a lot is: “where are you really from ‘from?’” It’s okay to ask me where I’m from, but you don’t need to add the extra “from.” I was born in a town on the outskirts of London in England. However, my parents and my brother were all born in Bangladesh. If you’re wondering about my ethnicity then ask me what my ethnicity is. Don’t assume that someone is from a different country just from of the color of their skin. 

This statement might be a little controversial, but in my personal opinion, it is racist to say that it’s a preference to never like someone who is a specific race. For example, to say that you will never be with someone with a different race from yours because it’s a preference isn’t right, as you’re ignoring a majority of people who identify with that race; however, it’s okay to say that you haven’t been attracted to someone who has a different race so far, but it doesn’t mean that you will never be, because saying the latter would that you’re ignoring an entire race; it’s a very prejudiced way of thinking. 

So, if you are Indian, Bangladeshi, Pakistani, etc., and someone comes up to you to tell you that you’re “pretty for a(n) [Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistani] girl,” then please don’t hesitate to pour your drink on their head, leave or even better, tell them that what they’re saying offends you, because you shouldn’t have to put up with it and you don’t deserve a guy (or girl) who says something like that.

Related Posts