Art by Ojo Agi
I’ve always viewed myself as less of a woman because of the way my body looks. Especially less of a black woman. I never felt pretty because my skin was brown and not light. I never felt like a “real woman” because my body is a plateau and not curvy like I was taught that a “real woman” should be.
The media doesn’t like black women unless we’re light skinned with Nicki Minaj body types. Our features are only deemed beautiful when they are plastered on white women like Kylie Jenner or when our dark skin is lathered in oil.
I would look in the mirror and tell myself I wasn’t good enough because my hips aren’t wide, because my butt wasn’t big, because of my A cupped breasts, because of my too-big nose, my lips, my hair, my own skin. For a long time, the mirror was my enemy. I longed to be beautiful like the women on television with their slim noses, their colored eyes, and fair skin.
If I couldn’t be White then I wanted to be the way the media wants black people to be. I wanted a big butt and an attitude. I wanted curves and a loud mouth. I wanted to be a “real black woman.”
“I exist in this brown skin and I will be proud of it. We exist as we are. Take it or leave it.”
Today I’ve realized that there isn’t a right or wrong way to be a black woman. I don’t have to be loud or ‘ghetto’ like the media wants me to be. I don’t have to be quiet and complacent like men want me to be. I will not be a video girl twerking in front of the camera while a rapper pours champagne on my butt. I will not be a movie star on the red carpet with big blue eyes and blonde hair. And there’s nothing wrong with being any of those things, but they are not me.
It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I am the best me that I can be. I like rock music and reading books and speaking my mind. And that’s okay too. There is no wrong way to be a black woman. I exist in this brown skin and I will be proud of it. We exist as we are. Take it or leave it. The only opinion of ourselves that matters is our own. Be your beautiful, vibrant, unapologetic, authentic self. We don’t exist to please anyone’s stereotype. You don’t get to tell me I’m “not black enough.”I am enough.We are enough.
Comments are closed.