People seem to equate Histrionic Personality Disorder with just “attention seeking,” but it is far more than that (however, it is one of the main symptoms.) Here are a list of symptoms of Histrionic Personality Disorder and how it affects my daily life.
1. Uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention:
Whenever someone is in my personal sphere, for example, when I am in a group of friends, I cannot stand being ignored. I will shake, feel anxious and sense that everyone is against me. We tend to get fairly reckless if attention does not come our way when we want it, and at the exact time we want it.
2. Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expressions of emotions:
Impulsivity. If someone does not pay attention to me when I want them to, or if they do not reply back to within a second of me texting them, I can alternate between “f*ck you, don’t ever talk to me and I don’t want sh*t to do with you” and “I’m sorry don’t leave me.” I usually ignore people and distance myself in order for me to not act on impulse and lash out on them. We know we aren’t supposed to respond to situations the way we do, but we lack impulse control.
3. Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self:
I don’t wear makeup for myself. I don’t do anything for myself. I wear it to get others attention and for them to compliment me. When people don’t compliment me I reinforce the questions of “am I ugly? Is that why people aren’t complimenting my makeup?” I also act obnoxious when I am around my friends and regret it later when I go home and ask myself, “why did you act that way?” We strive for reassurance and attention and prosper off of compliments and validation as weird as that may sound to others.
4. Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking detail:
People usually cannot follow my train of thought. I utter strong opinions and statements without having solid proof of what I am talking about. I defend opinions I have little to no knowledge on and my opinion changes based on who I am around. This is also a symptom of my comorbid disorder, known as Dependent Personality Disorder listed in cluster C as the “anxious and fearful” individuals.
5. Considers relationship to be more intimate than they actually are:
If someone is even the slightest bit of nice to me or makes a good impression on me, I’ll idealize them and obsess over the next time I’ll be able to see them again. I will treat them as a close friend and be clingy towards them.
Basically, people with HPD exist. We as a society need to end the stigma that contributes to personality disorders as a whole. If you relate to the symptoms I listed above, a self-assessment test on Histrionic Personality Disorder is here. And remember, your self-diagnosis is completely valid. Don’t let anyone put you down and make you feel any less of a person just because you weren’t professionally diagnosed.
