50 Shades of Grey—More Like 50 Shades of Abusive Relationship

[dropcap]S[/dropcap]ince the movie adaptation of the second book ‘50 Shades of Darker’ comes out this month, I’d like to address the fundamental issues of the first movie and the books, that I believe is too far because what’s being depicted here isn’t really BDSM – it’s romanticization of abusive relationship and rape culture.

This has been such a topic ever since the release of the first book back in 2011. While many disagrees, saying Christian Grey’s abusive behavior is justified due to his “dark backstory” – Yes, the backstory that his mother is a mad prostitute who abuse him and taking it out by sexually abusing and stalking women that remind him of his mother. As if it totally makes sense and completely justified – others agrees that his abusive behavior is so flagrantly displayed, in the books and the movies.

Here’s some quotes from ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ that could make you rethink about the whole movies :
(Warning : Mentioning of Adult Content, Abuse And Rape)

1. “No,” I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. “If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia. I will gag you.”

Should I repeat it for you, Christian? She said “No!”. In BDSM, things like “no” and safe words are highly respected because trust is key. Nevermind, this book isn’t about BDSM afterall.

2. “Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you. I can track your cellphone, remember?”

Since when, a dominants have the rights to stalk their submissives? I don’t care if you’re a greek god, you still don’t have the right to stalk anyone.

3. “So you felt demeaned, debased, abused & assaulted – how very Tess Durbey­field of you. I believe it was you who decided on the debasement if I remember correctly. Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? Two very different things. If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try and embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do.”

Did he just threaten her when she finally starts to draw a boundary? Because that’s all I see there.

4. “Christ Ana!” He bangs his fist on the table, making me jump, and making me stands so abruptly he almost knocks the dining chair over. “You have one thing, one thing to remember. Shit! I don’t fucking believe it. How could you be so stupid?”

I swear to God, the amount of disrespect and intimidation in this line is just so disgusting.

5. “I need some distance.” “I could make you stay,” he threatens.

God damn it, Christian. She needs some distance, and nobody, not even you (esepecially you) could make her stay.

Christian Grey is obviously a sadist. Combining quotes from the book with stalking, domestic violence, and even performing sexual acts under circumstances of dubious consent. It is indeed an undeniable fact that these criminal actions exist in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, which is better suited for horror than it is for BDSM nor romance.



  1. No offence but they literally go over the fact that he is a sadist in the book and he sees a psycologist and changes in the book… That’s kinda the entire point of the book… That you can change the bad boy into a good man.

  2. And for your points… No.1 : She was kicking him off because she didn’t want him to take her shoes off because she’s just been running and her feet were all gross, he says that because, as it says in the book, he doesn’t care if she’s all sweaty. That wasn’t rape, she legit WENT to his place to ask him for sex but then backed out, so he went to her and when he asks “is this what you want” and she says “yes please” sooo….
    No.2 : They were joking via e-mail, you could tell that the conversation was light.
    No.3 : Where was the threat?
    No.4 : They state in the book that his reaction to her pregnancy was awful, and he acknowladges that.. That’s why he goes to his shrink right after he does that, and then gets drunk. Ana also says that she’s moving out after that(but doesn’t get to ‘coz Jack(her boss who has a rivalry with Christian, puts her in a coma). The book wasn’t normalising that behaviour, it was supposed to be drama.
    Hope this helped!!

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