Last night, I made the mistake of actually going to a movie theater, buying a ticket and spending two hours of my life watching 50 Shades Darker. While I went in with low expectations, and came out about as disappointed as I thought I would be (although, if we’re being honest, it was definitely better than the first movie), the movie rubbed me on the wrong side for many reasons.
While the lack of decent acting and the mediocre sex seasons are reason enough for the movie to disappoint, what always has and still bothers me is the lengths that the author goes to romanticizing the idea of an abusive, unhealthy and controlling relationship.
Let’s get this out of the way: Christian Grey will never, ever, be a character that I fantasize about. He is a manipulative, sadistic (which, spoiler alert, he himself admits at one point in the movie) character that should not, in any way, be a role model to young men or considered “relationship goals” to young women.
Anastasia Steele is supposed to a protagonist that young women can relate to. She is supposed to be someone who is independent and career-oriented. And yet, the minute Christian Grey asks her to do something, she gives in. She hesitates for once second, and as soon as he asks one more time, she says “yes,” regardless of what he’s asking her to do.
The fact that 50 Shades of Grey was originally written as a fan-fiction version of Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight is no longer shocking to me, seeing as the latter’s protagonist, Bella Swan, was almost as bad.
A billionaire tells you what to do and constantly controls you? Marry him. You crush on the sparkly guy at school? Become a vampire and have his kid.
These are the messages that these stories send to people.
On top of that, movies always like to show a bad boy turning good thanks to a girl; Christian Grey claims that Ana is the one for him, that he’s trying to change his controlling and sadistic ways for her.
Newsflash: that’s not usually how it works in real life. You can’t always change a person’s personality; there’s no such thing as being “the one” that makes them want to be different. You can spend days, weeks, months, years, but you usually end up failing.
While the 50 Shades trilogy is good in the sense that it has opened society up to the idea of BDSM, that is about the only good thing it has going for it.
Regardless, I’m ready for us to finally stop romanticizing these controlling relationships. This might sound boring, but hey, next time, let’s make a movie about a normal relationship where both parties are equal and know how to communicate properly.
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