Recently my school had a day that, due to legal issues, was named ‘diversity day’. However what it really focused on were the rights of the members in the LGBTQ+ community. Within class time, we had the discussion of whether or not it was okay to use the phrase ‘that’s so gay’ in our everyday conversations. Surprisingly, I was the only one in my class that thought it could be even the slightest bit offensive.
I’m in a fairly liberal school, although I wasn’t entirely shocked that people that people would argue that it was okay to say it. Despite the generally accepting view that our school has, people drop this phrase into their conversations almost daily. It’s normalized. I was shocked at how little people wanted to listen to me on this topic though, even some people in my class who I thought would have been totally against it.
To give you a short overview about why you maybe shouldn’t use this phrase, gay means two things. Happy or homosexual. Nothing else. It doesn’t mean lame, or weird or even feminine. It means happy or homosexual, full stop. Therefore when you use it in the sense where you are putting something down by describing it with the word ‘gay’ , you’re associating that word with that thing that you didn’t like. That test was so gay – no it wasn’t. It was hard. You hadn’t learnt any of the contents. It had stupid questions in it. But it wasn’t gay.
I’m going to note down some of their arguments and, now that I’ve had more time to think, respond to them in a more rational way than I had in class. This might be formatted a little oddly, as I’ll be anonymously addressing a specific person in some points.
I’m not going to be that guy, who tells my friends that you can’t say that.
First off, it doesn’t need to be a lecture. You don’t need to spend the rest of your break time explaining why you shouldn’t say that word. It can be short, sweet. It can even be something as simple as ‘Hey, you know that can be offensive to some people!’ before going back to your conversation. If they’re your friends, then they should be open to listening to your point of view. Don’t say silent just because you want to be ‘cool’. People are affected by this statement, so stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.
If we say it enough, it normalizes the word.
That’s completely correct, although that’s not necessarily a good thing. I’ve been around this particular person long enough to know that most of the time the way they use ‘gay’ doesn’t show it in a good light. Therefore, they’re normalizing the idea that for something to be ‘gay’ it’s something bad. It doesn’t bring awareness to the true issue, and it certainly doesn’t help the LGBTQ+ community to gain acceptance in the way that you think it would.
Yeah, but it’s fine if it’s used in a positive way.
You mean when it’s used to describe someone whose homosexual and / or really happy? Because if not, then you’re not using the word the right way. I’m not sure what you mean when you say a positive way, because I have never heard of the word being used in a positive way outside of the two official definitions.
It doesn’t matter if the word is on mainly associated with ‘feminine’ traits.
It kind of does. Since the word is mostly being used in a way that tries to put something down, then not only are you saying that being gay is bad, you’re saying that being feminine is too.
I’m from England. When I say I don’t drink tea, people joke that I can’t be English. I don’t get offended by that.
- This is a completely different topic to what the discussion was about.
- The issue isn’t people saying that LGBTQ+ people aren’t in fact, LGBTQ+. It’s say that if they are – it’s bad.
- You don’t even live in England, therefore the issue doesn’t affect you as strongly.
- Also, you don’t represent the whole community. If one Jewish person is alright with Nazis roaming the streets, that doesn’t make it alright for the countless other Jewish people who are horrified ( apologies for the strong comparison ).
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