A morning will come and you will wake up as a new person. You would begin to care about your school uniform, the dust on your school sandal, how beautiful your hair is or how fine your headscarf looks. Science had found a name for all the things you are feeling. Adolescence is what they call it.
Your traditional parents will not understand you and this will cause you to withdraw from them. Your friends will be your only source of support since they are very much like you. You all will wish someone old enough will talk to you.
Some times, you will imagine yourself traveling the world and creating change. Other times, silence and sadness will be your best friend. Your society will not understand and everyone will call you lazy. You will struggle to find the confidence to explain how you feel but words will fail you.
“Kissing is an adult thing. You are a child and your father must not hear you ask such questions”
The society that was happy when you were born will not show you the love you need. The parents will not listen close enough. They would claim to love you but they will not show it..The boy in school will notice. ‘ You have lost the light in your eyes’, he will tell you one day. You will smile shyly and tell him that nothing was wrong with you. Your heart will rejoice that the boy had finally noticed you.
Everyday after that, you will wait patiently for him to approach you again. You will begin to grow a confidence that will surprise you and everyone you know.
Days will go by and you will not see the boy again. Gradually, the confidence you’ve built will crash down into debris. Years laters, you will learn not to tie your confidence and personal growth to anyone or the attention they give you.
“You will have travelled the world like you always wanted”
Then the boy will come back. He will befriend you, make you laugh and provide the support you need. Your father would have told you that he would marry you off if he heard that you walked around the street with boys. You will ignore this warning and keep your friendship with the boy a secret.
Slowly, your heart will begin to jump around in your chest when you see the boy. In the evening while cooking for the family, you will think about him and burn the dinner. Your mother will refuse to give you your dinner as punishment. She will not notice that you’ve began to like boys and this will pain you.
One day, on your way from school, the boy will ask you to be his ‘girlfriend’. You will not know what this meant but you will say yes to please him. The boy will touch your lips with his and you will stand there because you don’t know what was going on. When you get home, you will ask your mother about kissing, she will shout at you to keep quiet. ‘Kissing is an adult thing. You are a child and your father must not hear you ask such questions’ says your mother. You will be very sad that your mother shouted at you for asking this question but you will keep your mouth shut.
After weeks of only kissing, the boy will put his hands on your chest. You will try to remove his hands but he will tell you that it is normal. ‘ I should ask mother if this is true but she will shout at me’, you will think. So you continue to believe the boy till the day he tries to put his hands between you legs. You will know that it was wrong so you will try to leave. He will run after you and take you forcefully.
Several minutes later, you will drag yourself home. Your mother will scold you for coming late from school. She will fail to see you screaming silently. You will be very sad about this. You will go to your room thinking no one in the world cared. After several months, you will still carry the secret of that evening. You will begin to see signs of pregnancy so fear will make you tell the boy. ‘I will give you something to help you remove it’, he will say while you cry heavily. When you return home, you will wish that your mother would ask you if you were fine. You will want to tell somebody but you will see no one to trust.
You will accept the bitter thing from the boy and swallow it. Some hours later, you will scream out of pain and your mother will come running. You will wish she had being there for you before you drank the bitter thing. You will be very sad as you leave this world watching your mother cry.
What if you read this article on that morning you woke up? You will have known what adolescence feels like. You will have learnt that there are adults who will listen to you. You will learn to avoid the boy because you will have been taught about reproduction.
If a boy had put his hands between your legs, you will have learnt that it is called Rape. You will have known that there are groups and people who will believe you if your parents don’t. These people would have helped you. You would not have drank the bitter thing from the boy.
You will have travelled the world like you always wanted.
You will have created the change you want.