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Killing the Cancer of Comparison

We live in a society that holds preconceived ideas of what the people living in it should be like. Our lifestyles, personalities, opinions and appearances are judged in a way that has us constantly questioning what is right- and has us struggling daily with the want to feel accepted. This causes us to look at the lives of those around us in the hope of finding who we are supposed to be.

I’ve always been an introverted person. Though this sometimes got in the way of me having certain experiences, I never thought that having a shy personality was something to be ashamed of. When the feeling of rejection hit me however, all I could do is compare myself to the other person who was picked over me. I would spend every waking moment telling myself lies and convincing myself that I wasn’t pretty enough, talented enough or smart enough- and I kept telling myself that because my personality was lacking, I would never match up to that other person.

As I continued to pile on these negative thoughts about myself and continued wishing I could be more like somebody else, I began to feel extremely empty. I became quieter; thinking that my input wasn’t as significant as that of others. I became more closed off; assuming that because I didn’t look like a depiction of perfection, I wouldn’t be accepted. It took the realization that my comparison issues were the only thing causing my pain to finally put it to a stop. 

The energy I spent comparing myself to those around me didn’t benefit me in any way- and if I had spent that time pouring into my own life, I would’ve grown as a person instead of remaining stagnant in my insecurities. Comparison is a cancer that could easily be killed with three simple realizations.

  1. No one is able to offer what you offer to the world. There is absolutely no one on the planet who can give what you can give. We all have qualities that make us who we are, and none of them are even worthy of comparison. Learn to embrace your ideas despite how they may be perceived by others.
  2. The feeling of inadequacy is one that we should never have to carry. If we all live out our passions to the best of our ability, there is absolutely no space left in our lives to be feeling as if we aren’t good enough. Know in your heart that you have everything you need inside of you, and that you ARE good enough.
  3. There’s something truly beautiful about the fact that we all have a different story to tell. Sometimes what we’ve been through dictates what we think about ourselves. If we begin to accept our past and decide to be glad that we are able to grow from it, we can stop comparing our lives to others. Our stories shape us into better people, and we need to begin to take pride in everything that makes us who we are.

Quit comparing yourself to others and learn from them instead. Realize that what makes us different is what makes us beautiful, and stop allowing comparison to steal your joy. Begin to embrace everything that makes you who you are and watch as those around you begin to learn from you too.

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Natalie Santos
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Dreamer from Miami

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