Stop Perpetuating These Myths About the Asexual Community

The asexual community is still struggling to find acceptance amongst the LGBTQA as well as society in general. In the midst of this, there is an ignorant attitude that seems to perpetuate myths and stereotypes about the asexual community that are not just false, but also harmful.

1. Asexuals just haven’t found the right person yet. 

This is wrong on so many levels because one doesn’t need to taste poison to know if it’s good or bad for them. One just knows. Similarly, one knows themselves best so if someone says they’re asexual; they are. Don’t tell them they haven’t found the right person because that’s bullshit.


2. Asexuals can never have sex. 

A lack of sexual orientation or attraction doesn’t mean asexuals don’t have sex at all. There are asexuals who have healthy sexual relationships with their partners, get married and have kids too. It’s their personal choice. You don’t necessarily need physical attraction to have sex with someone. Sex is a biological need above all.


4. Asexuals ‘abstain’ from sex. 

Abstaining from sex is a choice. People who experience sexual attraction can and do abstain from sex voluntarily too. Asexuals don’t experience sexual attraction but can be in sexual relationships, and the ones who aren’t having sex aren’t ‘abstaining’ from it. They’re just not having sex because they don’t want to.


5. Asexuality is a disorder. 

This is hilarious because you’re calling a legitimate sexual orientation a disorder here. It’s not. Asexuality is just a part of the spectrum and it might be rare, but it’s as ‘normal’ as any other orientation may be.


6. Asexuals are scared of sex. 

Yes, some people, in general, are scared of sex. That doesn’t mean they’re all asexual. So just because someone isn’t physically attracted to you or anybody else doesn’t mean they’re scared of sex as a concept.


7. Asexuals are confused. 

Asexuals aren’t confused because they don’t feel sexual attraction. Asexuals are confused because you’re ridiculous enough to reach such conclusions about ‘their’ personal lives.


8. Asexuals are abnormal. 

For the love of everything that’s real, ‘abnormality’ is a biological term you shouldn’t throw around so lightly. And if you looked into it, you’d realise that asexuality is anything but abnormal biologically speaking.  


9. Asexuals are just closeted gay people. 

Asexuality is asexuality. Just because someone is deviating from heteronormativity doesn’t automatically make them homosexual in any way. Homoromantic asexuals and biromantic asexuals also exist.  

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Arushi is sociology major from Delhi University – mostly found writing, drinking tea, reading a copious amount of books, collecting lipsticks and rambling about an abundance of things. If she isn’t writing or smashing the patriarchy then she can often be found binge watching the Harry Potter series and/or Gilmore Girls and the like a bit too often. Or she can be found obsessing over dogs and cats. She’s a pantheist Hindu who lives in New Delhi, India. (she/her) (ent-j)

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