When we’re hurt by someone, we often feel as if this huge burden has been placed on our shoulders. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world- especially when someone you really care about is the one who did it, and you feel as if you were the last person in the world who deserved it. You feel alone, angry, sad, rejected, and the list goes on depending on the situation. When it initially happens, forgiveness isn’t even considered as an option of moving on from your pain. You continue to wonder why they did what they did, why you weren’t enough, why they betrayed you, or why they lied. Soon enough you find yourself dwelling on your confusion, and by this point, you’ve built up anger towards that person for making you feel so conflicted.
Like most, I’ve had my fair share of hurt. I had never been a confrontational person, so when situations came my way, I was one to completely avoid the people involved. Even though I knew that nothing would be solved by doing this, I had become so accustomed to reacting this way to my pain that I had never bothered to change. Once I realized that the unforgiving heart I was carrying around was the only thing weighing me down, I was finally able to let go of what had happened. Letting go of my feelings of resentment and bitterness was one of the hardest yet most rewarding actions I’ve done. Not only did it leave me feeling at peace with my situation, but gave me feelings of understanding and empathy towards the people who hurt me.
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the phrase “forgiveness is for you, not for them.” To a certain extent, this is true. But at the end of the day, we’re all flawed humans who deserve to be forgiven for our mistakes. No one walks around with the intentions of hurting others, and we need to understand that everyone is walking different paths that may cause them to make decisions that end up hurting those around them. Forgiving could definitely help heal you from your hurt, but you can’t completely dismiss how that person might be feeling. Even when I unintentionally hurt someone, I can’t express the amount of guilt and regret that came with knowing that the way they were feeling was my fault. Forgive the people who’ve hurt you for your sake, and for theirs.
By refusing to forgive someone, you’re really just hurting yourself. You’re adding unneeded stress, hostility, anger, and sadness to your life, and you’re allowing these bitter emotions to completely swallow you up- leaving absolutely no space for positive feelings in your heart. Essentially, you’re allowing yourself to stay stuck in past events, and you end up completely blind to the fact that there’s so much more left in your life for you to experience. Don’t waste time holding grudges towards people who are trying just as hard as you to get through this life. You could fill yourself up with so much joy by letting go of your hurt and learning to forgive and love those around you, despite whatever pain they might have caused you in the past.