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“Debate Me” Culture Isn’t Always Healthy: Learn To Pick and Choose Your Fights

Content warning: mention of the Holocaust, animal slaughter.

With the rise of social media, debating online has become commonplace. There isn’t a YouTube comments section that isn’t ridden with angry liberals and furious conservatives and really anybody who has an opinion. There was certainly a time in my life where I would put myself into every debate I could, arguing about a range of topics which usually had nothing to do with the actual video or post. Engaging in discourse was me letting out all of my angsty teen rage and passion.

Now that I’ve grown as an activist and I’ve been on social media for some time now, debating everyone I meet on the internet is honestly quite tiring.

Having to constantly defend and justify who I am has made me realize that just because I can engage in debates, it doesn’t mean that I should.

I run my own interactive social justice Instagram page, which is usually dedicated to education and productive discussion. However, as with all activists, sometimes events happen in my life which I just need to rant about. Recently, I had some animal rights activists on my page comparing the Holocaust to animal slaughter. While I fully support animal rights, invalidating the pain and suffering of one marginalized minority group of people to lift up animals just doesn’t sit right with me. Many even went as far as saying that the Holocaust Remembrance Day should entirely be replaced with a day for animal awareness.

Fuelled with passion and rage, I made a post where I ranted about this experience. Unlike other posts, I discouraged discourse because I needed to rant and let all of my feelings and thoughts out. I was simply not in a place mentally where I could sit down, sip a cup of tea and have an enlightening discussion.

Nevertheless, I still had many people in my comments section trying to start a debate with me. No matter how many times I said that I was not open to discussion, they still felt that I owed them my time and energy of respectfully exchanging ideas and opinions with them.

This is what is wrong with “debate me” culture.

By forcing me to engage in a debate, you’re already setting yourself up as being disrespectful, overaggressive and unwilling to listen to my perspective. You’re showing that you do not care about having a productive and thorough exchange of ideas, but that you actually just want to ‘win’ the conversation. For me, I have these discussions and create these spaces in order to better my perspective and hopefully learn from others. I don’t enter them with the pre-conceived idea that I must or am going to ‘win’ them.

Expecting me to be ready for a thorough and enlightening exchange of thought at any moment is also unrealistic. I’m currently in my final year of high school and am juggling many extra-curricular activities and hobbies. I already write for two magazines and create spaces for discussion on my Instagram account, but the moment I don’t engage in a debate with someone, I’m a “triggered liberal living in an echo chamber”.

Furthermore, it’s important to note that not every conversation is one for you. If you are part of the majority group, it’s an aspect of your socialization which allows you to believe everything should be catered towards you. This presents a problem when, for example people of color begin having their own conversations about race issues and white people feel entitled to enter them. Especially since there is a lack of discussion and representation of these issues, you really shouldn’t be taking up space which isn’t meant for you.

I really do encourage participation in conversations as in my experience, it has led to many new perspectives and productive exchanges of ideas. Just don’t force it upon anyone who doesn’t wish to debate you, and don’t take up space which isn’t yours. But most importantly, don’t be that twelve-year-old who screams “debate me” over the internet.

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