Sometimes the people we hold dearest to us are the most toxic. Many toxic friends, parents, significant other, etc. are seemingly the most kindest and caring people you have in your lives. Many of these people have good intentions, but are manipulative in their own insecurities or selfish desires.
They aren’t always bad people, they’re just not the right people for us.
Some people just don’t vibe. You have to pay attention to who your energy increases and decreases around, and who conversation flows the most naturally with. Those are the people you want to stick around. Sometimes the people you love the most are bad influences, or they slowly comprise your mental health.
Many of these people are just inherently negative in their everyday lives. These people can slowly become difficult and even begin to make you sad. Maintaining positive thoughts and goals is healthy, and can increase your well-being; however, constant negativity can create pessimistic ideals and even increase depressive symptoms.
Jealous friends or significant others can be the most toxic people. The One-Best-Friend Rule from elementary school does not apply as you grow older. Friends should not get angry if you don’t want to hang out with them, or if you make plans with someone else. This at first can seem like they are just caring about you, but in reality it stems from insecurity. These people can cause unnecessary guilt and pressure in relationships or friendships.
Many of these toxic people are controlling, manipulative, and “always right.” These close people to us have a tendency to never be able to apologize, even for obvious wrong-doings, and many times they turn it around so that it seems like your fault. They usually take advantage of their friends who are people-pleasers in order to get what they want, and if one says “no,” they inherently get angry.
These people can create false senses of insecurity and doubt in one’s self, which can be extremely damaging when consisting long periods of time. Cutting toxic people that you care about out of your life does not make you a bad person. Focusing on your mental health and well-being is more important than pleasing others 24/7.
You don’t owe them an explanation, and you don’t owe them an apology. Boundaries are crucial in cutting these people out of your life for your own sake. Distance is key, and with time these people might change, or they might not, but at least they aren’t hurting you anymore.