The thought of marriage has always troubled me. Whilst I have no nostalgic, religious nor cultural connection to marriage, it is something that I think about on the regular. I really am a hopeless romantic, and know that if/when I find “The One”, I’ll probably want to don that white dress and walk down the aisle. But is love enough of a reason to get married? Regardless of emotion, marriage is a big leap in today’s society, especially with the current social climate, what with 40-50% of marriages supposedly ending in divorce. It’s not only a major commitment but it’s also a lot of money for something that might not last longer that 15 years. It raises serious doubts as to why we get married: does it also pose as more of a social statement than a declaration of love?
It’s no secret that marriage is expensive. Well, not necessarily the marriage, but the ceremony. The average U.S. wedding is said to cost $35,329 according to this survey by The Knot – and shockingly enough, that doesn’t include the honeymoon. Compare this to the fact that millennials are said to earn approx. $35, 529 a year and it looks like you and your new spouse will have to move back in with your parents. We’re earning less than our older counterparts and yet we’re putting more of our hard earned coins into a dress or a venue for just one day. It’s no wonder that fewer people are getting married and more are just settling for cohabitation, not because we don’t want marriage, but because we just can’t have it.
But why are we spending so much on weddings if we can’t afford it?
It’s not just the rich that are getting married, you don’t have to earn over $50,000 to be eligible, so why are we doing it? It doesn’t seem reasonable or sensible, it seems foolish. Unless, of course, our grand weddings are symbolic of something else. The great Wu-Tang Clan once said “Cash rules everything around me” and maybe I’m a cynic, but I’m starting to believe it’s true. Nowadays, money represents everything in our lives: we buy flash cars to show our success, big houses to show our power and designer clothes to show our status. Weddings are just another factor in a capitalist society, a way to show how dedicated we are to our relationship, how much we’re willing to invest in a person, how much they’re worth to us. I did warn you I’m a cynic.
My problem with marriage is that if I ever do find that person, how do I leave capitalism and status and money-hungriness at the door, whilst also living up to those Pinterest weddings and feeling like my day is still special even if it’s not expensive? I suppose the answer is kind of simple, or at least it should be. Love is enough. Love should always be the centerpiece to every wedding, it should be enough to make your guests feel glad they showed up in a new outfit, enough to make you want to dedicate yourself to the person that you love. In years to come, love will be the thing that makes your wedding seem special, not the $500 floral arrangement on the table of your old high school friends that you haven’t seen in 13 years. That’s no measure of how much your love is worth. Have cheap weddings, have fun weddings, have simple weddings without buying into an industry made to get the most cash from you. Your dream wedding will still be your dream wedding without as many fairy lights and rose petals because hopefully, you have the person of your dreams standing opposite you at the alter. Love is enough.
