This week has been a rollercoaster ride of nerve wrecking emotions. I rather unbuckle the seatbelt while my body’s upside down, getting thrown out and have my body splatted on the ground. Maybe, it is the extensive homeworks or I am quite gloomy for the festive season that is near. Nonetheless, it has thought me a few lessons that I will bear in mind forever, and I am going to explain one of it;

Blessings.

In my religion, there is a concept of blessings where you should obtain the blessings from the people around you, especially your parents and teachers. You should treat them with outmost respect and not hurt their feelings, regardless your history with them and the 21st century drama that you have with them. Once they said something, even the littlest negative thought of you in their hearts, don’t dream to have a peaceful life. You may not see the aftermath now. You may experience it in the future, or you will see it happening to your children, your grandchildren, the people you are the closest with. I have found the right word to describe this; karma.

Ridiculous, isn’t it? I don’t even believe a single theory that I typed just now. On karma, yes, I do believe that what goes around comes around, but in some cases, I don’t feel that these people should have an authority to mess up my life as some of them do now, and none of them are angels. They make mistakes like I do, and all of us do, so there shouldn’t be any double standards on who gets to have a certain power on indicating the happiness of someone’s life. In fact, some of them even hurt me and leave deep scars to the extend that I cannot look life the same way again. They don’t respect me, so why am I supposed to do otherwise?

I have been shutting down my heart to all of these unspoken life rules until yesterday. 

I don’t think that I have the right to disclose what actually happened since it doesn’t only involve myself, but a lot of people, and I am afraid that it will bring discomfort and offend any party’s feelings. However, it brought a big impact to myself because as soon as I walked out of the venue where everything happened, I have never felt my heart so empty. It has been that way, but this time, it seemed like Sahara with the blowing desert wind making my heart hollower. My mind was exploring elsewhere looking to reside in a place of no name but my body is still here. I repeat, it has always been that way, but I never thought that breathing but dead inside would be this painful for the first time. It felt like I have lost the light to guide me through the dark. The fire torch has extinguished. I have nowhere to go.

By that moment, I have nodded silently and understood.

I have now understand the power of blessings. Blessings are like a ticket for you to soar upwards to achieve what you have long dreamed of. Blessings are the strength that you have to still wake up with a smile after a horrendous night. Blessings are the ties that holds your puppety hands and legs to make up your mind and carry out the most relevant desicions. Blessings doesn’t give you the gift of life, it gives you the gift of living.

-looks like I have lost one.

All I could conclude from everything that you just read is that, do appreciate the people around you and the things that they do for you. You wouldn’t know, and they don’t want you to know the sacrifices that they may have done behind your back. They may have sleepless nights thinking about you. They may have the most fragile skin but they wanted to protect you, although in various weird ways that you won’t understand. Don’t underestimate the love that they have for you. Yes, you may have a dark past that you don’t want to remember ever again that makes you shut them out of your life, but here comes the beauty of forgiving and seeking forgiveness. Don’t make the rage in your heart the main reason that you will regret everything that you will lose in life.

Show them your care and respect before it is too late.

 

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