So a man on Instagram posted a picture of him and his wife with a caption accompanying, telling of how he loves her curves, describing how he was bullied at school for “[his] attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as “chubby” or even “fat.”” He talks about how so many men have bought into the lie that an objectively beautiful woman is one that is tall and thin (which is in fact true). He then goes on to talk directly to his fellow men, and says, “Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty.” According to this man, a porn star is not a real woman. And movie characters aren’t played by real women. And I don’t know who told him that a bikini mannequin is a real woman but whoever that is has a lot to answer for.
|| I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as “chubby” or even “fat.” Then, as I became a man and started to educate myself on issues such as feminism and how the media marginalizes women by portraying a very narrow and very specific standard of beauty (thin, tall, lean) I realized how many men have bought into that lie. For me, there is nothing sexier than this woman right here: thick thighs, big booty, cute little side roll, etc. Her shape and size won’t be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it’s the one featured in my life and in my heart. There’s nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident; this gorgeous girl I married fills out every inch of her jeans and is still the most beautiful one in the room. Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire. A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She’s real. She has beautiful stretch marks on her hips and cute little dimples on her booty. Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah. || photo cred: @kaileehjudd
It gets even more ridiculous, as he then addresses the gals: “Girls, don’t ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold [sic] to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are”. Thank the Lord above for this guy!!! He tells me a man will finally love me!! God, without him I would be sat here wondering why I’m not a size 0 in order to be valued! Like I don’t have a brain of my own and can’t work that out for myself! He concludes with saying that he loves his wife, and I’m sure he does, but man, this little Instagram post that’s swept the internet with all the vitriol it deserves couldn’t have been more tone deaf. But for some reason people loved it. All sorts of articles popped up claiming that his post has gone “viral for a beautiful reason.”. Apparently, it’s even “swoon worthy”.
This is another, tiring example of a man wanting a medal for simply not being a terrible human. Apparently, this caption is a slam dunk for feminism; he’s a hero of our time or some shit. I am tired. So damn tired. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for men to not try to define womanhood. I don’t understand why they feel the need to tell us what they believe a “real woman” is, and then pretend they’re incredible feminists because they aren’t assholes to the women they love. Sure, men can help the feminist cause by unlearning what the magazines tell them, and by not holding their girlfriends/sisters/mothers/wives to dumb patriarchal standards, but telling us how to be women is just not helping. Actually, it makes matters worse; I imagine that a lot of young girls read that caption and felt bolstered by it, and it makes me so sad because they shouldn’t need to be told that they are worthy of love by some random bro on Instagram – they should know this already. But such is the modern world. These kinds of posts put girls in the positions that they never asked to be in – to be patronized and condescended to by grown men who should know better. “I’m one of the good guys!” he tells us. But really, he’s just like the rest of them, the ones who believe they’re better because they are willing to pay attention to any woman who isn’t in a glossy magazine. The ones who think the women in their lives owe them something because they haven’t left them for someone prettier. The ones who think they’re irreplaceable. Well, we all know what the Queen B said, so to Mr. I’m Such A Nice Guy Please Give Me A Reward: your wife could have another you in a minute.