The word “society” is brought up a lot. Many times, it is brought up in a negative light: society is seen as harsh or as looking down on people. People are told not to listen to society. Society doesn’t see your beauty, society doesn’t know what a great, wonderful person you are. But when we say “society”, just what group of people are we referring to, exactly? The generation that came before us? Strangers? Internet trolls? The cruel kids at school?
We have to remember that we are society. We are a part of the society that imposes unrealistic beauty standards, we are a part of the society that kills people’s self-esteem, we are a part of the society that reinforces stereotypes. We are the very society that we complain about and tell other people not to pay attention to. And how do we do this?
We are the very society that we complain about and tell other people not to pay attention to
It’s not anything big. Usually, it’s just small things, things that have become a part of everyday life. A comment on how that girl’s acne is horrible and that she should wash her face. Recommending to people that they should straighten their hair. Laughing at a boy who cries. Liking posts that make fun of other people’s insecurities. Going to see movies that have white leads but not seeing the ones that have people of color as leads. Congratulating someone for hanging out with a person who is not considered to be conventionally attractive. Hating on a celebrity for stupid reasons such as “his voice is annoying” or “there’s something wrong with her face.”
It’s these little things, these little tidbits that keep all the negative aspects of society still running. It’s these things that affirm unfair beauty standards, that affirm white supremacy, that affirm double standards, that affirm that certain type of people are somehow less than. When we say offhand comments about people, comments that can possibly hurt their feelings, we are reinforcing one, distinguished mode of beauty or behavior. When we watch films that are about white people but not films about people of color, we are showing the people in Hollywood that we like and support films that aren’t very diverse. When we go overboard at talking about how amazing someone is for hanging out with someone who doesn’t fit our definition of attractive, we are saying that yes, there is only one correct way to be good-looking. If you look like anything else, it’s harder for you to find a person that appreciates you, and thus, your partner is an incredibly amazing person for deciding to be with you.
The sad part is, these actions have become normal and expected. They’re sometimes even considered trendy and not at all bad or rude. When we say and do such things, we are forgetting the important parts we play as members of a society. We are perpetuating what we are telling others to ignore. We talk bad about “society,” but a lot of us are the very society that we talk bad about.
I’m not here to lecture you. I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself. I’m saying that it’s crucial to recognize ourselves as being a part of society. When we do that, we can change things for the better. We can decide to say something nice instead of pointing out someone’s “flaws.” We can choose not to partake in hating on someone for a ridiculous reason. We can support diversity and we can encourage it. There are so many things we can do to better society, to better ourselves, even if it’s only by a little bit.
