Romantic Love? I Don’t Know Her… Yet

This weekend, as I procrastinated packing for move-in day on Wednesday, I found myself indulging in YouTube ranging from GRWM, Get Ready With Me, videos to the fave, Dr. Pimple Popper. During my procrastinating ways, I found myself watching almost every video of YouTuber Conan Gray. The first one I watched was named “Love & Cookies (Babble & Bake).” In this video, Conan makes heart-shaped cookies while talking about romantic love, or more so the lack thereof, something I completely understand.

I’m nearly nineteen and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m pretty sure I’ve never even hit the “talking” phase with a boy. Forget even talking to a boy, I can barely get one to look in my direction. Because of this travesty, for a long time, I thought I was weird and questioned what was wrong with me. I wondered if it was my personality, my looks, or a mix of both that made it impossible for me to find a suitor. I wondered why it was that out of all my friends I was somehow the lone ranger. When everyone somehow managed to get boyfriends, even though we went to an all girls high school, I was still the one with no experience whatsoever.

I always felt like I was missing out of something incredible, no matter how many times my friends would complain about their significant others because, despite the fights and arguments, they still had somebody. They would always say, “You’ll find someone soon, it’s okay,” or “You just have to wait for the right person to come along.” The thing about hearing those words though is that when your six/seventeen and everyone but you has had that connection with another person, you feel as if it’ll never happen for you. It feels like your time has passed because if it’s taken this long, will it ever happen?

Now that I’m a bit older, I’ve realized that it’s okay that I haven’t been in a relationship. For some reason, society puts a timestamp on when we have to do certain things, but everyone goes at their own pace. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with me, or anyone else for that matter who hasn’t been in a relationship at this point. Some people just choose not to be, and others, like myself, just haven’t found that opportunity yet. Although societal norms and the media try to make us feel inadequate or pressure us into certain things, there’s no need to rush when it comes to those things. Everything comes in time and not to be cliche, but patience is key. It’ll happen when it happens and when it does, make sure you’re getting into or doing things for the right reasons. I’ve heard one too many stories about regret, and I’d rather not have that at all. Relationships, more specifically romantic relationships are not the end-all, be all for an individual. As I always tell myself, “I’ve gone this long without a boyfriend, I can go a little longer.”



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