Girl Code Doesn’t Exist… Well, Not The Type That You’re Thinking

I think it’s okay to date your best friend’s ex and not let the rules of girl code ruin and rule your friendships, so imagine this: your best friend has broken up with her ex and she’s hurting and crying and as cliche as it sounds she’s also watching a sappy romantic movie and listening to sad songs and is covered in an abundance of tissues. She’s going through a big breakup, clearly, and you’re obviously going to be there for her and say that the ex-boyfriend in question doesn’t deserve her.

The thing is that your friend will not be hung up on this person forever and if they are, well, then you need to tell them to get get over it. They’re gonna face more harder and painful ordeals than a dumb ex breaking their heart. If you really like this guy, you will have to get the courage and tell your friend about it and feel comfortable in talking about how you feel because that’s what friends are for, especially if it’s your best friend. Talking to your friend is important because she’ll feel more crappy if her best friend didn’t come forward with her feelings to her and went behind her friend’s back. So talk to her; if she is your best friend and if she cares about you then she will be alright with it.

Onto the other topic, which is girl code (no, not the TV show), this whole girl code thing is probably the main reason that people don’t want to date their best friend’s ex. In my opinion, girl code in society’s point of view creates fights against friends and it tears people apart for one silly reason: girl code has it’s set of rules that have changed overtime but we still have the mind-set of the old rules. Nowadays it doesn’t say anything about dating a best friend’s ex, but our mind still follows the old rules.

Personally, having a set of rules telling you how to deal with friendships is kind of stupid to me. Call me cliche, but every friendship is different and special to people and they have their own way of dealing with things. In girl code, they have rules like be loyal, don’t leave each other behind, but those are obvious things that every friend and not just girls should follow. They are simply make believe rules created by movies and TV shows and it promotes the “don’t date your best friend’s ex” cliche even more. If you have watched any chick flick with that sort of plot, you know it usually ends up with a cat fight between the best friends and chances are that you don’t want to break off a long year of friendship, or even if you have been friends for a short period of time. All just because of a stupid boy, right?

However, if this guy is bad news and has done something awful with your friend then don’t go out with him. Here’s why: if this guy cheated on your friend or something worse than that like abuse, then you need to stick by your friend and stay away from him. Chances are if he’s hurt your best friend, the infatuation will fade away and if he’s done a bad thing with your friend then he’s sure to probably do the same to you. However, if he’s a completely good guy and the reason that he and your friend broke up is somewhere along the lines of, it wasn’t working out and she’s just hurting because of the breakup, then go for the guy (after your friend is done hurting of course)! Tell your friend how you feel after she’s over the breakup and explain your feelings. I’m sure she’ll be happy for you and if she says that it’s wrong or weird then you’ll have to emphasize just how happy it will make you, how much he means to you. If she’s over him then what’s the problem?

Again, don’t let a boy get in the way of your friendships, especially if they have been around for a long time because, another thing, teenage/ high school relationships don’t last long, truthfully. If you’re dropping a 16 year old friendship for a guy that you’ll probably be with for about 2-3 months. it’s not worth losing your friend over.

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Juie Chowdhury
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Juie is an 19 year old writer & poet based in London, England. She likes to read books written by celebrities and watch mystery dramas on TV

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