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The Importance of Surrounding Yourself With The Right People

True friendship is very rare. So many people put on this fake persona as your best friend, but the minute you turn your back, they’re talking about you. It’s easy to get distracted by someone who’s hiding who they truly are. High school tends to show you people’s true colors. Even the people you thought were the most trustworthy turn out to be quite the opposite.

Dealing with fake and toxic friends is something most of us has experienced, and as hard as it is to believe in the moment, it’s for the best because these people end up teaching us something in the end. These people have taught me the importance of true friendship, honesty and the reality behind the saying “what goes around comes around.”

I’ve been dealing with fake friends for a long time, longer than I have realized. My first one I ever had made me so anxious I’d cry every morning before school. It eventually got so bad I had to go to school early in the mornings and play with the school counselor’s dog. This friend and I were constantly fighting and she made me hate everything about myself. That’s a major red flag, signaling a fake friend, but me only being in fourth grade, I didn’t realize how toxic my friendship was with this girl. Being older and wiser now, I know true friends don’t create anxiety for you. They help release that anxiety and keep a smile on your face, rather than a frown.

Fake friends will often talk behind your back or just blatantly lie to your face. I’ve stayed in these toxic friendships much too long because I’m a big believer in giving people another chance and in that people can change. However, it’s hard to know when these people change because it seems that everything coming out of their mouth is a lie, so how are you suppose to know if they’ve truly changed? When they aren’t lying to your face, they’re talking behind your back. True friends will never talk poorly about each other to other people. I’m sick of receiving news from people that a so-called friend of mine is talking behind my back and I know I’m not the only one. Relationship cannot work without communication, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a family relationship or a friendship; the connection between you and another person with be demolished if you do not communicate. It’s not only with gossip, it’s feelings as well. If you are not happy with a friend, never pretend there’s no problems. Tell them how they are making you feel because without discussing your feelings, the person making you upset will continue to do it because they might not know what is bothering you. Don’t let petty tendencies ruin your relationship with someone else.

I had an epiphany while dealing with a fake friend: the energy and vibes you give off will be returned to you. For instance, if you have a friend that is talking behind your back or lying to you, life will return that to them. There’s no use in yelling at these people or trying to get revenge, they will be treated the way they treat others. I’ve seen it happen and I’m sure you will as well. At the end of the day, I’m not angry at fake friends, I pity them. These people will never be truly content and eventually they’ll have no one left because no one wants a fake friend.

If you’re doubting that you’ll ever find a real friend, I can promise you that you will. I used to keep fake friends so I wouldn’t have to sit alone at lunch, but now I know it would be better to sit alone than be near people who don’t appreciate what I have to offer. Separate yourself from the toxic people around you and wait for the right friends to come along and you won’t be disappointed.


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Clara is 15 and from Georgia! She loves talking about what she's passionate about including feminism. Her interests include music, photography, and of course writing.

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