It is a common New Year’s resolution to cut off all negativity in one’s life, but how does one really do this? Every year I tell myself that it is time to cut of all ties with people who don’t love and support me unconditionally, or even those who merely keep me from reaching my fullest potential. Those who only see me as a body or a source of entertainment for them. At a certain age, you begin to understand that this is not a true friendship. How does one detect such a friendship? Here are a few signs:

  1. They constantly put their own needs above yours.
    This is a really big one because your adolescence is one of the most important times of your life; one where you MUST be able to understand yourself in way that no one else can. This takes time and effort and if someone doesn’t understand this then they are not worth your time. Anyone who puts their own needs above your self love is toxic.
  2. They make you feel inferior.
    These people make you feel terrible about yourself as a means of relieving their own insecurities. There is a fine line between having inside jokes with one of your friends and them blatantly trying to exploit your weak spots. Their teasing is malicious, NOT witty.
  3. They try to keep you from being your best self.
    This trait is kind of hard to spot, but it comes in many forms. For example, you could have a massive paper due in school, but your friend doesn’t care and would rather have you spend time with them, and if you say no then they begin to make you feel bad about your decision. This is not friendship, this is them seeking a source of entertainment; seeing you as merely a body to them, not an actual human being
  4. Beware of gas-lighting
    A form of manipulation where you attempt to communicate a certain issue while they get defensive and blame it all on you. They will make it seem as though you are the problem by looking for flaws in you that are irrelevant to the subject matter at hand.

These are only a few possible interactions. If you sense any sort of belittlement then that is a clear sign. If you feel that any person in your life is only bringing you uneasiness and further anxiety, you have to take precaution; it may be difficult to cut them off, but you have to do it for the sake of you.

Ending any relationship is tough once you have established an emotional bond, however, remember how this person makes you feel. Ask yourself: is this person helping me grow into someone I want to be, or are they holding me back from my own potential? You are not the problem, they are.

 

 

Image: screenshot from @ChanceFrom79th 

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