The Dangers of Being a “Pick-Me” Girl

“I’m not like other girls.”

A phrase that is a common cause of irritation amongst women everywhere. The phrase is usually used to describe oneself and distance an individual from stereotypes about women. Whilst it may be true that you really “aren’t like other girls,” the phrase can have a negative impact on other women and brings into question your own self-esteem.

Men often form ideas about women which they wish to complain about such as the idea that wearing a lot of makeup is “slutty” or that a woman wearing revealing clothing isn’t a sign of self confidence but rather proof that she only cares about what men think of her. On most occasions, women defend themselves against these kinds of stereotypes but there is a minority that chooses to encourage these ideas by showing off about how they’d hate to be like all the stereotypical types of women.

These are known as “pick me” girls. They can be found shaming other women for mundane things like wearing makeup, certain types of clothing or simply having opinions and as they do so, men appear to cheer them on as they confirm false male ideas of women. “Pick me” girls do everything they can to seem unique and special. They place themselves on a pedastool, standing on the backs of other women as they do so. The sole goal of a “pick me” girl is to pander to men.

It is absolutely fine if a woman chooses not to engage in typically feminine acts like those earlier mentioned but this becomes a problem when she begins to believe she is superior because of it. This ideology only contributes to the oppression of women in society today. Many women already get enough slander from men for doing certain things that are totally normal, they do not need to receive the same thing from a fellow woman.

One must understand that being a “pick me” girl will make you an oppressor.

Statements like “I’m not like other girls” not only makes a generalization about all women but also brings into question why you feel the need to distance yourself from the rest of us. “Pick me” behavior is a sign of insecurity in yourself. If you can only feel good about yourself by making others feel bad about themselves then you need to start doing some self-reflection. It’s a sign of internalised misogyny which is toxic to your existence as a woman. Ask yourself why you think it’s so important to be set apart from typical femininity, ask yourself what you hate so much about it.

Women should be able to embrace their own identities whether that identity fits with traditional ideas of femininity or whether it’s far from it. We are human beings and we are allowed to make rational choices about what type of person we want to be. Women can be modest or overtly sexual; there is nothing inherently wrong about either one when a woman is able to make that decision herself. “Pick me” girls make it harder for women to feel free to make these decisions as they add to pressure to behave a certain way which women already get so much of from men. No women should feel the need to please men by putting down other women but if you do perhaps it’s time to ask yourself why.



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