They’re in movies, tv shows, and are all over social media. Big romantic gestures are seemingly essential to a great relationship. It has become a cultural norm that is utterly unrealistic and unattainable. Girls put their happiness in the hands of boys, and are inevitably disappointed when these boys do not declare their love for them in a school cafeteria or show up at their doorstep with one dozen roses and a giant teddy bear. Girls should not determine their worth through what a boy says or does for them.
Likewise, the quality of a relationship does not derive from what kinds of romantic gestures are carried out. Good relationships consist of support, understanding, and a genuine connection. Romantic gestures do not make up for any of those characteristics. This is what confuses most people since romantic gestures are linked to someone showing that they really care. But more often than not, romantic gestures can be used as a tool to manipulate the significant other’s emotions. After I broke up with a guy who constantly made me feel as though I was walking on eggshells, he threw pebbles at my window as a romantic gesture to win me back. I was taken aback by it and was overcome with emotion because I thought that no one has ever cared enough about me to do something like that. It made me wonder for a long time if I was making a mistake by leaving him since I was taught by society that romantic gestures are what love is. That is simply not true and his romantic gesture could have never made up for the lack of support and understanding in our relationship.
This desire for romantic gestures is part of the sexist gender roles that often come from heterosexual relationships. Society has forever pushed for men to buy women nice things while the women sit idly by and look pretty. This was due to women’s lack of rights within the American government which made women reliant on men for financial security. Although the government still has a long way to go in regards to women’s rights, women are now able to provide for themselves. Therefore, a woman’s desire for a romantic gesture is rooted in sexist ideals so one should strive for a more equal sided relationship. Even though romantic gestures seem great, it is best to reject them out of relationships entirely for both the relationship’s and women’s sake. Derived from sexism and residing in manipulation, it is time for women to stop hoping for big romantic gestures.
