Humour is possibly one of the most fundamental aspects to socializing. We use it to create friendships, to build groups of like-minded people around us. We relate to others through humor. In effect, we construct an identity through it (or lack of it, if that’s what floats your boat). That is what it’s for.
Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor of communication studies at University of Kansas, in fact, found that humour can make or break a woman’s interest in dating a man she has just met (excuse the heteronormativity; we can’t have everything). The science behind it isn’t the point. We all know that we prefer spending time with those who can make us laugh. We all know that relationships are built through humour.
However, we can also use humour to shun people. This is where racist jokes, homophobic jokes, misogynistic jokes come into play. By a white person using a racist “joke” – the guise of a joke, I should say – the white person is alienating and shunning the people that the “joke” demeans, yet creating an in-group of like-minded [racist] people around them. They are telling the people around them that the idea of racism is acceptable.
The guise of “just joking” is only something that the person who makes the joke has to say to those who disagree. They don’t say it to the “in-group” as they don’t need to defend themselves against those who think what they say is okay. That’s why no-one is ever “just joking” – they are around people who agree with them. To those people, their comments are acceptable. If you accept “just joking,” you accept their comments as okay. In a world where people are killed merely for their skin colour, their sexuality, their gender, this is not forgivable. You should be calling these people out.
The caveat, as with all language, is that humour is up to interpretation. Morals, ethics, meanings, these all get lost in translation. Hence why satire is such a difficult form of humour to pull off: no two people will have the same outlook on the world. Despite this, if someone tells you that something you have said is incorrect, you should listen. If you are white and black people tell you not to use the n word, don’t do it. If you are a man and women have asked you not to refer to them solely as “females,” don’t do it. It is not difficult to be funny and respectful.
Offenses are consciously made by the offender. “Just joking” is effectively saying. “I am prejudiced against this minority group, but I’m going to pretend I’m not so that people don’t hate me.” If “just joking” excuses the offense, then the offense itself is excused. Moreover, the offender is praised for his ignorance because we pretend he’s not actually an *sshole. He is. Call him out on it.
Because that offender, the “in-group,” those people who are “just joking,” if they’re constantly forgiven one day they’ll find someone who is racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, misogynist, you name it! One day they’ll vote that person to be president.
Oh… wait.
