Sometimes love doesn’t always work out in our favor; it’s like a sick version of Russian roulette. One day it might be good, and the next you’re hearing those words, “it’s not you…it’s me.” Sometimes it doesn’t play out like in the movies, or books we hear so much about. The same, quirky girl meets nerdy boy bullsh*t, right? Sometimes it’s love between a friend, or a family member, or the cute stranger you saw every day for a month at your bus stop. Sometimes your broken heart isn’t caused by another person. Maybe the disappointment you feel is towards yourself, and that is okay too.
I, a self-centered and naive girl, have not experienced love enough to tell you what to do, or give you step by step instructions on how to get that person to love you again, (although I wish I could). But I’ve had a few run-ins with love (what seemed like love to me anyway), and heartbreak, and I think I might know just enough to tell you that you will be okay.
The person you once loved does not define you. To me, the concept of being “broken” does not exist. You are made up of all the negative, and positive characteristics that make you such a complex being: the love you have for yourself, the love you have for other people, and the passions you hold close to your heart. Those are the things I believe make you who you are. Not someone else, and especially not the people that have hurt you. You are not a “broken” person for feeling upset, or angry — don’t ever define yourself as such. It is your right to feel sad, and it doesn’t mean that their name should be written all over you. You are still your own individual person. You can love someone, and let yourself be lost within their world, but at the end of the day, learn to put yourself first. Learn to appreciate, and love yourself throughout the process of letting someone go. Learn to leave the world they have created.
You are not a “broken” person for feeling upset, or angry — don’t ever define yourself as such. It is your right to feel sad, and it doesn’t mean that their name should be written all over you.
Knowing how to forgive yourself is important too. You have to understand that it is not your fault for feeling upset; you’re human, and that is what we do. We feel. We spend our entire lives looking for things, and people that make us feel alive, and heartbreak just happens to be one of the symptoms. It’s just like the flu, really. You feel bad and you’re all icky until it goes away and comes back to haunt you once more. Which in fact, is something we have no control over. Again, like the flu.
Life is all about eating two course meals in the bathtub while watching four episodes of How To Get Away With Murder until the tips of your fingers resemble Sun Maid Natural California raisins. It’s okay to let yourself be lost in the pain, and disappointment you feel, but always be ready to snap out of it! Life is so amazing! Embrace the pain, but know when it is a good time to rip off the band-aid. You might not meet the right people at times, or have the best encounters with others, but that doesn’t mean it makes life any worse. I truly believe that love, whatever it is, is a trial and error process. You win some, you lose some. At the end of the day, you are not defined by anyone else but yourself. You define YOU, and once you realize so, life will become so much brighter.
