Today is mother’s day, and while many people are happily celebrating (and rightfully so) the many contributions their mother has given and brought into their lives; not all of us have the privilege of having a mother who loves us. Many of us have had to live with emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive mothers or have been abandoned by them because their love is very conditional. Here’s a few tips on how to celebrate mother’s day when your Mother is a monster.
- Take the day off. Put on a face mask, take a soothing bath. Treat yourself to your favorite foods. Do your favorite activity. Today should be about you and your recovery.
- Channel that pain into something creative. this will help you sort your emotions and you’ll be proud of what you’ve made.
- Cut yourself off from other toxic family members. You know those “blood is thicker than water”, “she only did it because she loves you”, and “parental abuse isn’t abuse relatives”. They’re either enablers or abusers themselves, and only care about the family’s reputation. Not your mental health.
- Realise you’re a worthwhile person. Your mother was wrong. You are worth of all the love and respect in the world. You were never at fault for anything your abuser did to you.
Now for the rest of the population. if you know anyone who has had to struggle with an abusive parent here’s what you should do.
- Refrain from mentioning our mothers. Realize that we should not celebrate a person who has hurt and abused us for most of our lives.
- Realize that today will be full of sadness and anger. Check up on us today.
- Do not shame us for cutting out our mothers. just because you and your mom have a healthy relationship doesn’t mean we should blindly worship our mothers, even when our memories of them are horrible.
I wish everyone a happy mother’s day tomorrow. Just remember that for some of us tomorrow will be a day of sorrow, anger, and possibly a celebration of emancipation.
