Germans. The most boring and unfunny people on this planet.
I have the feeling that anyone has that thought of us.
Strict, punctual and asparagus lovers.
Well okay, last one may be true but that isn’t the point right now. The point is that Germans are like other people but with different priorities and characteristics which isn’t even our fault, we were raised that way.
Whatever, this isn’t going to be an article about how people are judgmental nowadays, this is going to be an entertaining article where I will make fun of my own race and culture to some extent, of course NOT in an disrespectful manner, I’m not that uneducated.
But even I have to admit that there are some unusual (for our generation) habits going around in Germany and its population and who could list them better than a German citizen herself?
Let’s get started:
- Impatience. I have met so many impatient people during normal activities that self control is really important. It starts with such little things, for example standing in someone’s way by mistake or taking too long to chose which dish to take, they will freak out. Short appeal additionally: Dear fellow German citizens, you need to chill out!
- The accent. Even though it depends on the abilities of the parents and ancestors what we are going to be good in and where we are more likely to get good grades, it still annoys me that every time when we have English lessons those students who are the worst in such a subject get the word. Why? “Sis is a dog. Se dog looks angry. Se dog have become get eating a bone. Sis is cool.” I don’t want anyone to be shy because of their non-existent talent for foreign languages but really, then thinking that you are great in that stuff is the part that pisses me off.
- Meat. Germans LOVE meat. Whether it is Schnitzel, the good old Bratwurst or cold cuts, which is present in every supper, nothing can prevent Germans from eating a “saftigs Weischwürstel” (“juicy white sausage”). And don’t ever try, you will be removed from the community immediately.
- Beer. Being at the topic food why not continue with beverages. One of the most known thing about and in Germany is the beer. A beer in the evening, a beer with the colleagues, a beer alone, a beer everywhere, just take a look around in German supermarkets and you will find beer anywhere. No wonder that some people look a bit too deep in the glass (or in this case: in the bottle).
- Car lights. I don’t know if other countries do that as well but I just noticed that Germans always drive with their car lights on, whatever the time or the lightning outside, ALWAYS. ‘Okay, we see you, thank you. You can turn your lights off now and stop blinding me.’
- (A little joke added: To call Bavaria a part of Germany. I mean, are you kidding me? They almost speak another language and… no wait. I won’t complain any further, most of the guys from down there are responsible for our victory in the Football World Cup).
- News. Germans live for their newspapers, the news in the television, the news in the radio. I have never seen another country being so excited about news and information that it scares me how my dad jumps off the chair and sprints over to the couch in one motion when he hears the introduction “Guten Abend meine Damen und Herren” or how he spends at least half an hour on the toilet shuffling around with his old stack of papers printed with black letters. Being informed is great, yes. But please don’t get addicted, literally.
Actually this is more about the older generation than about the youth, we just watch and shake our heads at these manners. And NOT everybody is like that, I repeat NOT everybody is like that, it’s the same as in your country: Anyone is different and values different things, so please don’t let this article change your mind to the worse about us, we aren’t that unfunny.
