We live an age when there are increasingly stringent pressures put upon teenagers. Just think: because of the intense standardized testing and college admissions culture American teens grow up in, there usually isn’t time to consider mental well being. There are kids involved in two sports and president of three clubs, who tutor Monday through Wednesday, work Thursday and Friday, and volunteer on the weekends. Lots of students don’t know how to just take a break. Below are some of my tips on how to destress. (Disclaimer: I’m not a certified expert on these things! These are just things that help me.)
Spend some time with family or friends.
Just talking and spending time with loved ones can be therapeutic. You don’t have to talk about what’s stressing you out, but just the comfort and familiarity of being around people that are close to you is fulfilling. However, if you find that your parents put too much pressure on you and have unrealistic expectations, it’s okay to distance yourself and spend time with friends. Conversely, if your friends increase your feelings of anxiety, you can spend some time away from them, too. The bottom line is, you should be spending time with people who make you happy.
Move locales; better yet, take a walk outside!
If you’ve found that your legs have become stiff because you’ve been sitting in the same cramped position, trying to write the same paragraph, you should get up and move. Changing locales sometimes helps me with creativity; getting stuck in one place doing work can get me stuck in a slump. If you have the time, you should take the luxury of walking outside, even if it’s only around your block. The fresh air and sunshine will remind you that there is something bigger outside of whatever obstacles you might be working through.
Listen to a really great playlist.
In times of trouble and drudgery, you can never go wrong with some upbeat music. Personally, listening Drake and Beyoncé always helps me get out of my blues. If I’m having a really tough day, I turn to gospel music. Any way you play it, music is a simple, three or four minute diversion from what’s plaguing you. You can work along to it, or take a break to just sit and listen to your favorite song with your eyes closed.
- Write something down
This is an open prompt; you can write really angsty poetry, a journal entry, or start writing that sci-fi novel that you’re trying to get through. I’ve noticed that writing things down helps me with mental clarity and helps me to put things in perspective. I like writing things down with pen and paper. If it’s a huge assignment, it’s understandable if you go the digital route; it’s very convenient. However, for something personal, you can invest in a nice little journal where you can keep thoughts. It’s a tangible way to write encouraging letters to yourself.
- Make a phone call
This is kind of in the “spend time friends and family” vein, but if you find yourself unable to physically see someone (like if you’re away at college), calling them can be great. Texting is nice (and convenient!) but it can be tedious if you’re struggling to vocalize some feelings of stress or anxiety. Hearing the voice of someone dear to you can help you through hard times.
- Take a bath
You should always, always take time to take care of yourself physically. One of the first signs of stress is often a lackluster physical appearance. And, while you are beautiful inside and out, it will feel good to pamper yourself. Put on your favorite music and use the fancy spa set you got for Christmas/Hanukkah. Alternatively, you can paint your nails or do a face mask. You deserve a few minutes to engage in a calming, not-mentally-strenuous activity that reminds you that you are worth taking care of.
- Do something that reminds you of your childhood
This can mean watching a favorite childhood movie (one of mine is Matilda) or buying your favorite junk food from the store. One of the therapeutic parts of this exercise is reminding that you were once a child, and you have come this far. You are constantly growing and evolving, and reminding yourself of a simpler time can help to remind you that you will make it through this–you have a lot of life ahead of you.
- Seek help
You can reach out for professional help, or if that is too expensive, you can see if your school offers counseling of some sort. Talking to someone with expertise in the field can help you to realize that your experience is normal and you are not weaker for it. They can also inform you of strategies to help you cope, as well.
- Pray, meditate, or just breathe
Some folks like to read their Bibles, Qu’rans, or other holy texts in times of stress. Others like to meditate or take a yoga class to center themselves. If you don’t follow those schools of thought, you can just take some time every day to breathe. You might notice that your chest feels tight when you try to take deep breaths. Relax and keep moving through this. Try to incrementally increase the depth of your breath. There are some great apps out there to help you with breathing and calming yourself by checking in with your body. One that I like is called Headspace.
- Realize that you are not perfect.
Even when you take the time to care for yourself, it’s not always easy to come back to working if you are feeling mentally and physically exhausted. You can cry or grumble; you can sit on your bed and take a nap when you really should be working on a paper. What I’ve realized is that I can fix those other things; I can talk to a teacher if I’m struggling with an assignment. However, it’s harder to fix if I don’t first realize my limitations and stop beating myself up about everything. Sometimes you have to step back and let some things go. Yes, you should push yourself, but you also have to realize that you are human and that is okay. You’ll be okay.
