Asexuality has always been one of those things that I’ve heard of, acknowledged, but didn’t know much about. After scrolling through Twitter after starting the new CW show “Riverdale” I found a huge community of asexual individuals who were heavily discussing the show’s openly asexual character of Jughead Jones. According to the LGBTQ Center of UNC Chapel Hill, asexuality, sometimes shortened to “ace”, is defined as “someone who does not experience sexual attraction toward individuals of any gender” which is far from what most people think asexuality consists of. After hours of searching, I found little to none in terms of resources within communities aside from support-based Twitter and Tumblr accounts. The LGBT Center at Williams College states that around 1% of the world population is asexual, but many experts believe this number is higher.
My search led to so many individuals who were willing to help me compile a few things people should know about asexuality. First, sexuality is not synonymous with celibacy. Lauren, aged 20, describes the relationship between the two saying, “We can be in relationships but most of us don’t engage in sexual activity. You aren’t any less asexual if you choose to have sex. Sexuality and romantic attraction are two different things.” Not only are the two different concepts, but they’re different in terms of choice as well, “Celibacy is a choice, but asexuality is not. Asexuals cannot feel sexual attraction while celibates can but choose not to partake in sexual actions for whatever reason.” says Sabrina*. The media can definitely take the heat for some of this as well, as Lauren requested I emphasize that “The media should acknowledge our community. We barely have representation for those who really struggle to find who they are.” Asexuality is a sexual orientation, not a choice. Sexuality as a choice versus natural instinct has been an ongoing debate, especially as the LGBTQ community pushes for more well-deserved rights. Everyone I spoke with agreed that one of the biggest misconceptions is the notion that asexuality is a choice. “It’s one of the most irritating things,” said Sabrina, “asexuality isn’t a choice but rather something I cannot change about myself. I cannot feel sexual attraction and personally, I don’t want to.” Lauren agreed, “They tend to say ‘don’t knock it until you try it’ or ‘it’s a phase’ or even shame me to say it’s a choice. No one chooses sexuality, you’re born with it.” Finally, if you or someone you know is or may be asexual, you are not alone! “It’s okay to be ace,” adds Alice*, “There’s nothing wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you’ll be lonely or unhappy. It is vital for anyone of any sexuality to find a group that validates their experiences and makes them feel comfortable with who they are.” Sabrina adds, “The most important thing is to accept yourself as what you are, but also to realize you are so much more than your sexuality and gender.”
Here‘s where to read more about asexuality.
Comments are closed.