Amber Amour, AKA “Amber the Activist”, is a prominent twenty-seven-year old sexual violence, sex education, and feminist advocate stationed in New York, New York. Throughout the to-the-minute decade, she has ventured criss-cross the United States, the United Kingdom, South Africa, and Australia, hosting a global tour that centralized on a movement—”Stop Rape. Educate.”—that was founded following her sexual assault at in September of 2014.
However, her societal significance became increasingly notable when, whilst residing at a South African hotel located in the region’s capital—Cape Town—for “Stop Rape. Educate.”, she documented her second sexual assault unto Instagram.
In summary, her tale was catapulted into boundless news headlines, receiving a “viral” reputation, as well as the encouragement of newfound rape trauma survivors, advocates, and a slew of additional social media followers.
Since, Amber the Activist has cultivated an inarguable motivation in her brand to end detestable sexual violence crimes at their entirety, and to upraise awareness for its resilient survivors.
As a result, I, Alexandria Piette with Affinity Magazine, struck an enlightening conversation with her regarding her trials, tribulations, and triumphs.
Q. To begin, Amber, there’s a tidal wave of gratitude undulating in my heart for you. Both for your undying dedication to consent culture and sex education—but moreover, for reporting to Affinity Magazine today! A tremendous thank you goes out to you from our team and readership! Do you have any introductory “fun facts” about yourself?
A. I’m fluent in English, French, and Spanish[,] and I also speak Portuguese, Italian, German, Turkish, American Sign Language, and Arabic[—]just enough to make locals laugh and ask questions about how to get around. I lived in Paris, for five years for college. I play the ukulele. I’m a December baby and I hate the cold[.]
Q. To hop on into the “nitty gritty,” I was sifting through your Press Kit for the interview, and it mentioned a peace rally you attended at the age of twelve that ignited your fire for social activism. Can you give the lowdown on that initial experience for you? Your respective feelings, the people alongside you, the immediate aftermath, et cetera?
A. My mom took me to an anti-war protest right when George Bush was deciding to go to war or not. It was so motivating to march and chant with dozens of others. I loved the energy, the rage, and the excitement. After that event, I knew that that’s where I wanted to be!
Q. Following the rally, you took to engaging with organizations including the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), and developed your own movements. How were those processes for you and what resulted from them? Did you have a centralized inspiration that motivated you, like a notable role model in your life?
A. Starting my own movement involved failing dozens of times before really succeeding. I learned from each failure and picked myself right up. Before I really got into activism, I met feminist activist and author Eve Ensler at one of her book signings. Being a survivor who helps women, she inspired me to do the same.
Q. Your sexual liberty can, unfortunately, be controversial to some (although, it’s safe to say your influence is increasingly positive). Have you experienced forthright aggression or harassment for your activism? If so, how do you manage that?
A. I think that anyone who is aggressive towards me for expressing sexual freedom just doesn’t get it. I’ve definitely been called names, I’ve been told that I was “asking for it[,]” and all kinds of things. I honestly don’t focus my time or energy on hate. I delete the comments, block the person who left them, and move on with my life.
Q. You frequently discuss sexual abuse you’ve experienced throughout the course of your livelihood. If you’re comfortable with responding, how did that impact you in your personal life, social experiences, career—any and all aspects of your being? How did/do you anguish through the bad days without giving into negativity you may have been weathering? Might I add that it’s phenomenal that you have sprouted this awe-inspiring blossom of a monumental cause from your trauma.
A. When I got raped in Cape Town last year and the story went viral, it was terrifying to get recognized in the streets for being a rape victim. It caused me to have PTSD[,] intense anxiety[,] and stress. One year later, I manage life quite differently because most people who recognize me are fans or supporters.
It’s important to actually allow those negative feels, instead of [suppressing] them. If I feel down, I cry. I express it. You have to feel it to heal it. Once I’ve released it, I focus on all I have to be grateful for and that really picks me up.
Q. With that topic at hand, what advice would you provide to individuals—no matter the gender, sexual orientation, race, and so forth—enduring abuse? How can someone who’s aware of another being abused help?
A. Tell someone. It’s not your secret or anything you have to be ashamed of. Your story matters and you will feel such a relief after speaking up. Remember that it was not your fault, not even if you were drunk, not if you said “yes” and then changed your mind, not if you went along with it, not if you didn’t scream or fight back. All of that is normal. Your body is YOUR’S and your word and will and should be respected at all times.
Get an adult you trust involved that can help. Go to the authorities. Ask the survivor exactly what they need and how you can help.
Q. A core message of your’s is perceivably reclaiming one’s body and psyche following abuse. I could babble for millennia about how revolutionary that is for survivors, but considering you are my interview-ee—I’ll shine the spotlight unto you! What does that reclaiming mean to you? What transformations have you observed from your (abundant of) followers who echo that philosophy?
A. Since sexual trauma happens to the body, it’s important to reclaim it by doing physical activity such as yoga, running, or even kick boxing! This is an important element that will help you connect more with your body. You can reclaim your spirit with meditation, prayer, or mindfulness techniques. You can reclaim your spirit with art, music, creativity—anything that feeds the soul.
So many of my followers have started working out, going vegan, doing yoga and living lifestyles that help them live their best life ever!
Q. Thus, this guides us into the subject matter of consent and educating oneself on consent culture. What does consent mean to you? What should it mean to someone who’s unaware of its importance, let alone its definition? How can they then implement consent culture into their everyday experiences and interactions?
A. Consent is more than saying “yes”. The context in which someone gives consent is so important. If someone says “yes” because they feel manipulated or pressured, that’s not consent; it’s sexual assault. If someone says “yes” when they’re drunk, it’s not consent.
For a detailed break-down of what consent is, check out my recent interview with Galore Magazine.
You can implement consent culture by asking for consent, talking about sex before engaging, by sharing your survival story, and by standing up against sexism.
Q. As the education for consent culture progresses, teens like that of Affinity Magazine grapple with a disheartening lack of accurate and diverse sex education throughout school. What are your opinions on that, and if you desire to, what would you change about it? For instance, do you agree with the sex education curriculum that focuses solely on abstinence?
A. I had zero to little sex education in school as well. Unfortunately schools in the U.S. follow abstinence-only teaching, which is not proven to prevent teen pregnancy. In fact, with a lack of education, teens are more likely to get pregnant and suffer sexual abuse. With that being said, I find abstinence-only to be abusive. Neglecting our children by not educating them about consent and sex only creates more problems, rather than preventing them.
Q. Last, but unquestionably not least: along with your sexual activism and victim advocacy throughout social media, you host real-life workshops supporters can partake in! Can you provide details about that? How can your average joe sign up for/contact you regarding participation in your seminars?
A. I give workshops at local schools, organizations, and universities about consent, social media activism, and holistic healing for survivors. You can read about the types of workshops that I offer and find the booking form here.
Facebook: Amber the Activist, Creating Consent Culture
Instagram: @ambertheactivist, @creatingconsentculture
Websites: www.ambertheactivist.com, www.creatingconsentculture.com
A monumental thank you—again—to Amber the Activist for her willingness to vocalize her lifelong experiences with myself and Affinity Magazine. Rest assured that we, collectively, will extend our hands to “stopping rape” and “educating,” and to the promotion of consent culture for the betterment of the livelihoods of women, men, and those that situate in between worldwide.
