Why doesn’t she leave? After the countless hours cleaning blood up off the bathroom floor and the time spent every morning covering up the bruises that were left on her body by the man that claims he loves her, she stayed. Unfortunately, beating after beating it gets harder to find a way out and the thought of leaving becomes more complex. To you and me the answer is obvious, leave. Get far away from the situation that’s putting your life in danger, but to these women it will never be that easy.
Could it be the fear? The fear of him carrying out every last threat and ending her life if she stepped away or spoke out. Or maybe it was her dependency. The way he made her feel like she would be nothing more than worthless without him, and his countless attempts to control all aspects of her life. Regrettably, after the seventh beating that week and the third broken bone that month, she stayed. You then again wonder “but why does she stay?” Although physical violence is more common, a victim also suffers emotional damages, and just because you’re not being beat, does not mean you’re not being abused. Violence is not limited to just physical abuse.
Many victims also suffer from mentally draining wounds. As of the year 2000 depression remains the foremost response, with 60% of battered women reporting depression (Barnett 2000). Along with depression, women in abusive relationships are also at a higher risk of contemplating or committing suicide. While marks and bruises may go away in time the psychological effects could be long term. Often, when a victim is able to leave a toxic relationship they face numerous other psychological effects, such as flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, emotional numbing, etc. Topping the chart of post domestic violence psychological effects is PTSD, with an estimated 55.9% victims matching the criteria (Mertin and Mohr 2000). We as a society tend to think leaving is as easy as walking out and never looking back, but for these victims it will never be that simple. The repercussions of leaving the abuser can be frightening and incredibly dangerous. We crave to hear the stories about how she got away and how she survived and although they are not as frequent, they do exist. All abuse survivors have a triumphant story, this is Leslie’s: “My secret was I had this gun loaded with hollow point bullets pointed at my head by the man who I thought was my soul mate, many many times.” said Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of Crazy Love.
As she spoke to an auditorium of individuals, she opened up about her past and prior relationship with her controlling and manipulative abuser. Leslie then went on to answer the question everyone was curious to know, how she left. She explained how she spoke out to everyone, friends, family, the police, and just random strangers on the street and told them about how she has been being abused. She realized blood, bruises and guns were not signs of love, and that his psychological trap disguised as love was no longer for her. Today Leslie is living a beautiful life with a beautiful family, and an incredible man. Unfortunately escaping and surviving domestic violence is not an easy task. They are weaved into a web where they are forced to believe that they should no longer fight back, but instead just accept this lifestyle as their new reality. It is everybody’s right to live a life free of abuse, that’s why we must stand up for those who feel voiceless. Now is the time for change, the time to end this vicious cycle once and for all. According to the Office for National Statistics, as of February 2015 and estimated 1.4 million women have suffered domestic abuse in the last year. Tragically, if we do not make a change now this number will continue to rise. Abuse thrives in silence, and this global problem can no longer be kept quiet. Speak up. Speak out, and lend a hand, because you never know how many lives are depending on it.
